{ "_comment": "Hand-written replacements for lines the model got wrong, applied by mgo_build.py after the translation is loaded. Keyed by chapter, then line id. 'was' is a guard: if the current translation no longer matches it, the correction is NOT applied and the build says so loudly, because a retranslation may have changed the line in a way that makes the fix wrong. Reviewing a stale correction is a deliberate step, not something to skip.", "mgo_00_01": { "_note": "The prologue was translated with the earlier prompt and not redone: these are its reversed names, plus 妹 left romanised as 'imouto' by the old kinship rule. 妹 there is a plain noun, not a form of address -- おねえちゃん at line 90 is address and stays romanised.", "89": { "was": "My beloved imouto, Dee.", "now": "My beloved little sister, Dee." }, "98": { "was": "Her imouto, who freed Towa from the operating table where she had been restrained.", "now": "Her little sister, who freed Towa from the operating table where she had been restrained." }, "99": { "was": "Her imouto Dee, who entrusted everything to Towa and wished for death.", "now": "Her little sister Dee, who entrusted everything to Towa and wished for death." }, "55": { "was": "\"When nothing remained but despair, hope appeared. Doctor Kaoru Akatsukinomiya invented the Magical Heart.\"", "now": "\"When nothing remained but despair, hope appeared. Doctor Akatsukinomiya Kaoru invented the Magical Heart.\"" }, "57": { "was": "\"The chosen maidens came to be called 'Jewel Princesses.' Furthermore, Doctor Kaoru Akatsukinomiya promoted the construction of fortified cities throughout the Earth, capable of repelling even Celestial attacks.\"", "now": "\"The chosen maidens came to be called 'Jewel Princesses.' Furthermore, Doctor Akatsukinomiya Kaoru promoted the construction of fortified cities throughout the Earth, capable of repelling even Celestial attacks.\"" }, "68": { "was": "Towa Hoshimori was waiting.", "now": "Hoshimori Towa was waiting." }, "126": { "was": "That traitor, Kaoru Akatsukinomiya, had stolen everything from okaa-sama. She had claimed it all as her own achievement.", "now": "That traitor, Akatsukinomiya Kaoru, had stolen everything from her mother. She had claimed it all as her own achievement." }, "74": { "why": "Translator's note on あの子, deliberately vague in the source. TESTING whether non-ASCII survives the font hook.", "was": "At times like this, she always remembered the faces of okaa-sama and that girl.", "now": "At times like this, she always remembered the faces of Mother and that girl (あの子 / ano ko)." }, "76": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Okaa-sama, beautiful, proud, and so dearly loved.", "now": "Mother, beautiful, proud, and so dearly loved." }, "80": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Okaa-sama was stroking the radiant thing with an affectionate look.", "now": "Mother was stroking the radiant thing with an affectionate look." }, "82": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Okaa-sama's fingers.", "now": "Mother's fingers." }, "85": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Okaa-sama continued.", "now": "Mother continued." }, "95": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Okaa-sama, bound to a metal stake with chains and shot to death as a \"traitor to humanity.\"", "now": "Mother, bound to a metal stake with chains and shot to death as a \"traitor to humanity.\"" }, "96": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "\"Okaa-sama...\"", "now": "\"Mother...\"" }, "113": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "The city built by Towa's okaa-sama. And the city whose glory had been stolen from her.", "now": "The city built by Towa's mother. And the city whose glory had been stolen from her." }, "125": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "\"...Okaa-sama devised the basic defense strategy, after all. Naturally.\"", "now": "\"...Mother devised the basic defense strategy, after all. Naturally.\"" }, "128": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "That was why Towa could use the backdoor okaa-sama had left behind to view nearly all the data in real time.", "now": "That was why Towa could use the backdoor Mother had left behind to view nearly all the data in real time." }, "132": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "The inspection tunnels had not been left undefended. Towa's okaa-sama would never make such a mistake.", "now": "The inspection tunnels had not been left undefended. Towa's mother would never make such a mistake." }, "159": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "The jewel that Towa's okaa-sama had called humanity's hope.", "now": "The jewel that Towa's mother had called humanity's hope." }, "182": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "One of the five Energy Cores invented by Towa's okaa-sama. One of the four that were stolen.", "now": "One of the five Energy Cores invented by Towa's mother. One of the four that were stolen." }, "274": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "No, I suppose it is lost after all. It was stolen from my okaa-sama, you see.", "now": "No, I suppose it is lost after all. It was stolen from my mother, you see." }, "278": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "My okaa-sama, who was shot to death. Her younger sister, who was ultimately killed by her elder sister Towa's own hand.", "now": "My mother, who was shot to death. Her younger sister, who was ultimately killed by her elder sister Towa's own hand." }, "294": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Not the 'Magical Heart,' but my okaa-sama's invention, the 'Energy Core'!", "now": "Not the 'Magical Heart,' but my mother's invention, the 'Energy Core'!" }, "303": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Her okaa-sama had created five Energy Cores.", "now": "Her mother had created five Energy Cores." }, "305": { "why": "おかあさま is Mother in every other chapter; the prologue romanisation is left over from the earlier honorific policy.", "was": "Her okaa-sama's wish. Her younger sister's wish.", "now": "Her mother's wish. Her younger sister's wish." }, "88": { "why": "横顔 is a face seen from the side; English profile reads as a dossier.", "was": "The profile of that girl as she nodded.", "now": "The side of that girl's face as she nodded." }, "191": { "why": "First occurrence of 千手乱舞 in the game; romaji note so the voiced name is recognisable.", "was": "Senju Ranbu!", "now": "\"Thousand-Hand Dance (千手乱舞 / senju ranbu)!\"" }, "231": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "This is the last one! No more scurrying around and running away! Senju Ranbu!", "now": "This is the last one! No more scurrying around and running away! Thousand-Hand Dance!" }, "244": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "But the Seiden Cannon will finish you in one shot!", "now": "But the Conquering Heaven Cannon will finish you in one shot!" }, "220": { "why": "First occurrence of 征天大砲 in the game; romaji note so the voiced name is recognisable.", "was": "Conquering Heaven Cannon! Fireeeeeeeee!", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon (征天大砲 / seiten taiho)! Fireeeeeeeee!\"" }, "259": { "why": "生身の体であれば heads a generic conditional; the English pinned it to she and then switched to no one.", "was": "If she had been in her natural body, no one could have survived at the center of that explosion.", "now": "In a body of mere flesh, there would have been no surviving the center of that explosion." }, "260": { "why": "だが、トワもまた―― is a trailing suspension; a bare hyphen reads as a dangling apposition.", "was": "But Towa, too -", "now": "Towa, however.." }, "268": { "why": "爆発したんじゃなかったの is 'weren't you blown up?!', not a complaint that the explosion failed.", "was": "Huh? Why?! Wasn't it supposed to explode?! More importantly, how can a human be a Celestial -", "now": "\"Huh? Why?! Weren't you blown up?! More importantly, how can a human be a Celestial--\"" } }, "mgo_01_02": { "33": { "why": "a verbless fragment: the dangling を object of 語る in line 32. Supplying 'I must tell her' invents an addressee distinct from Dee, when Dee is the person she means to say it to.", "was": "I must tell her how I feel about Dee-san, and how deeply I regret hurting her.", "now": "How I feel about Dee-san. How deeply I regret having hurt her." }, "_address": "See the note in mgo_01_01. 19 and 67 are spoken to the person named; 16 gets Dee right as a third party but pins the welcome onto the wrong person -- Serena is not the transfer student.", "16": { "was": "\"Well, I suppose Dee-san wins, since she welcomed me from the start, unlike that mob of rabble who are only throwing me a welcome party now.\"", "now": "\"Well, I suppose Dee-san wins, since she welcomed you from the start, unlike that mob of rabble who are only throwing you a welcome party now.\"" }, "19": { "was": "\"No. It is good that Yuzuki-san is so eager to entertain, but she tries too hard to make her reading funny, so she cannot.\"", "now": "\"No. It is good that you are so eager to entertain, Yuzuki-san, but you try too hard to make it funny, so you may not.\"" }, "67": { "was": "\"...And yet, I was foolish enough to feel as though things had always been this way after only a few days. Dee-san is... well, in a different category, I suppose. In any case, she is different.\"", "now": "\"...And yet, I was foolish enough to feel as though things had always been this way after only a few days. You are... well, in a different category, Dee-san. In any case, you are different.\"" }, "_moonstone": "same as mgo_01_01: 最強の『ムーンストーン』 without the category word.", "432": { "was": "Along with the strongest Moonstone, she would have one more Energy Core. That was overwhelming power.", "now": "Along with 'Moonstone,' the strongest of them, she would have one more Energy Core. That was overwhelming power." }, "434": { "was": "If she could monopolize two Energy Cores in addition to the strongest Moonstone...", "now": "If she could monopolize two Energy Cores on top of 'Moonstone,' the strongest of them..." }, "452": { "why": "人体内部でしか保管出来ない (restriction) flipped by なら to 人体内部なら保管出来る (permission). Rendering both halves identically leaves a tautology and breaks the inference 453 depends on: any body will do, not only her own.", "was": "If it could only be stored inside a human body, that meant it could be stored inside a human body.", "now": "If a human body was the only place it could be stored, then any human body would do." }, "_person": "463 is first person ('my body'), then 464-465 slide into narration about Towa and 466 comes back. The source has no third-person reference anywhere in the run -- 464 is わたくしに, 465 has no subject at all. Restored to first person so the scheming reads as her own thought.", "464": { "was": "If she knelt before the vice president and placed herself in her hands under the pretext of wanting to be integrated into the class, the vice president would surely expose her naked body to Towa. That would be her opportunity.", "now": "If I knelt before the vice president and placed myself in her hands, under the pretext of wanting to fit in with the class, she would surely bare herself to me. That would be my opening." }, "465": { "was": "If they could be alone together, Towa could prepare a sleep-inducing drug--one that would be completely broken down inside the body without leaving a trace--and give it to her when her guard was down...", "now": "If the two of us could be alone together, I could have a sleep-inducing drug ready--one that breaks down completely inside the body and leaves no trace--and get her to drink it the moment her guard was down..." }, "1873": { "was": "That's right. Towa had wanted to make this girl special.", "now": "That's right. I wanted to make this girl someone special." }, "729": { "why": "name order: source is 月影レイカと禊ヶ原トワ, both reversed", "was": "The last pairing announced was Reika Tsukikage versus Towa Misogigahara.", "now": "The last pairing announced was Tsukikage Reika versus Misogigahara Towa." }, "431": { "was": "\"...They say the traitor's daughter and the vice president will duel during the Star Hour at the graduation ceremony, but given the difference in the performance of their Energy Cores, it is obvious that the traitor's daughter will win.\"", "now": "\"...They say the traitor's daughter and the vice president will dance a 'Buto' during the Star Hour at the graduation ceremony, but given the difference in the performance of their Energy Cores, it is obvious that the traitor's daughter will win.\"" }, "694": { "was": "\"Mai-to, huh...?\"", "now": "\"Buto, huh...?\"" }, "695": { "was": "This was the first time a Mai-to class had been held since Towa transferred in.", "now": "This was the first time a Buto class had been held since Towa transferred in." }, "724": { "was": "There was little time left before graduation. The final 'Maito' class would serve as a culmination of the past three years and double as the final examination.", "now": "There was little time left before graduation. The final 'Buto' class would serve as a culmination of the past three years and double as the final examination." }, "725": { "was": "Therefore, care had been taken to ensure it would be a serious 'Maito' match by pairing students of comparable ability.", "now": "Therefore, care had been taken to ensure it would be a serious 'Buto' match by pairing students of comparable ability." }, "726": { "was": "Furthermore, lowerclassmen had been invited for their future education, so do not show them any embarrassing 'Maito.'", "now": "Furthermore, lowerclassmen had been invited for their future education, so do not show them any embarrassing 'Buto.'" }, "732": { "was": "Towa's 'Maito' grades were nothing special, neither good nor bad. At least, that was how things looked according to her falsified grades.", "now": "Towa's 'Buto' grades were nothing special, neither good nor bad. At least, that was how things looked according to her falsified grades." }, "766": { "was": "Reika raised both arms, and her feet began pounding out powerful steps. The rotational movement fundamental to Maito had begun.", "now": "Reika raised both arms, and her feet began pounding out powerful steps. The rotational movement fundamental to Buto had begun." }, "770": { "was": "In 'Maito' as a performance or dance, counterclockwise movement was the standard. In the matches so far, most of those who took the initiative had chosen to turn counterclockwise.", "now": "In 'Buto' as a performance or a dance, turning to the left is the basic form. In the matches so far, most of those who took the initiative had chosen to turn left." }, "780": { "was": "'Maito' was a game in which the players invaded their opponent's field while continuing to dance. Since they had to keep spinning and dancing, they could not simply sprint forward and attack their opponent all at once.", "now": "'Buto' was a game in which the players invaded their opponent's field while continuing to dance. Since they had to keep spinning and dancing, they could not simply sprint forward and attack their opponent all at once." }, "792": { "was": "In 'Maito,' colliding with the body was against the rules. Only the tips of one's toes and fingers were allowed to make contact.", "now": "In 'Buto,' colliding with the body was against the rules. Only the tips of one's toes and fingers were allowed to make contact." }, "874": { "was": "\"Th-this isn't 'Maito' at all!\"", "now": "\"Th-this isn't 'Buto' at all!\"" }, "959": { "was": "\"Damn it. Me? Losing at 'Maito'? That's impossible! You lot! Don't take pictures! Don't take pictures of me!\"", "now": "\"Damn it. Me? Losing at 'Buto'? That's impossible! You lot! Don't take pictures! Don't take pictures of me!\"" }, "1026": { "was": "This was no longer a 'Maito' match.", "now": "This was no longer a 'Buto' match." }, "1051": { "was": "\"In a 'Budou' class, after manifesting the power of the Magical Heart, what exactly do you intend to do?\"", "now": "\"In a 'Buto' class, after manifesting the power of the Magical Heart, what exactly do you intend to do?\"" }, "1079": { "was": "\"You lost at 'Budou,' and on top of that, you lost as a human being.\"", "now": "\"You lost at 'Buto,' and on top of that, you lost as a human being.\"" }, "1142": { "was": "\"We would like to entrust you with being the other dancer for 'The Dance Duel.'\"", "now": "\"We would like to entrust you with being the other dancer for 'Buto.'\"" }, "1146": { "was": "\"But from what I hear, her 'Dance Duel' has been going on for some time...\"", "now": "\"But from what I hear, her 'Buto' has been going on for some time...\"" }, "1148": { "was": "\"That is why I wanted to remove her from the 'Dance Duel,' but there were no other candidates with a high enough compatibility rating. Besides, her opponent was from the Tsukikage family.\"", "now": "\"That is why I wanted to remove her from the 'Buto,' but there were no other candidates with a high enough compatibility rating. Besides, her opponent was from the Tsukikage family.\"" }, "1173": { "was": "\"But the Vice President forfeited her qualifications herself. She refused to acknowledge her defeat in the 'Dance Duel,' and using a Magical Heart solely because she wanted to win is completely unacceptable.\"", "now": "\"But the Vice President forfeited her qualifications herself. She refused to acknowledge her defeat in the 'Buto,' and using a Magical Heart solely because she wanted to win is completely unacceptable.\"" }, "1177": { "was": "She had been dancing in 'The Dance Duel' after having her petticoat stripped off, wearing underwear made of thin fabric that covered very little...", "now": "She had been dancing in 'Buto' after having her petticoat stripped off, wearing underwear made of thin fabric that covered very little..." }, "1220": { "was": "But given my position, I cannot refuse. Besides, the traitor's daughter and her toady both possess Energy Cores. The fact that I cannot oppose them with my unenhanced body was made clear during my 'dance' with the Vice President.", "now": "But given my position, I cannot refuse. Besides, the traitor's daughter and her toady both possess Energy Cores. The fact that I cannot oppose them with my unenhanced body was made clear during my 'Buto' with the Vice President." }, "1350": { "was": "\"The 'Maito' itself is no different from an ordinary one, so you should not need any practice. However, you will need to memorize the order of the ceremony.\"", "now": "\"The 'Buto' itself is no different from an ordinary one, so you should not need any practice. However, you will need to memorize the order of the ceremony.\"" }, "1554": { "was": "Not during her first examination, when she intervened in the 'Maito' with the vice president, or even in the Star Disciple Council room. The president never used 'Moonstone'.", "now": "Not during her first examination, when she intervened in the 'Buto' with the vice president, or even in the Star Disciple Council room. The president never used 'Moonstone'." }, "_buto": "Chapter two was translated before 舞斗 = Buto entered the glossary, so its 24 occurrences came out as Mai-to, Maito, Budou, Dance Duel and once plain 'duel'. Normalised here; later chapters get it from the glossary instead.", "_lapis": "『ラピスラズリ』 came out as 'Lapis Lapis' twice, in adjacent lines.", "980": { "was": "\"That's right! Look closely! Look, and fear me from the bottom of your heart! This is the power of the chosen! The power of my Lapis Lapis!\"", "now": "\"That's right! Look closely! Look, and fear me from the bottom of your heart! This is the power of the chosen! The power of my 'Lapis Lazuli'!\"" }, "982": { "was": "It was the holy raiment of the Jewel Princess. It was proof that Lapis Lapis had manifested.", "now": "It was the holy raiment of the 'Jewel Princess.' It was proof that 'Lapis Lazuli' had manifested." }, "767": { "was": "She was turning clockwise.", "now": "She turned to the right." }, "769": { "was": "Human beings, generally speaking, chose to turn counterclockwise. Clockwise movement created a sense of tension.", "now": "People, given the choice, tend to turn to the left. A turn to the right puts everyone on edge." }, "771": { "was": "In other words, Reika's choice to turn clockwise was a declaration of war. She had no intention of treating this as a mere dance.", "now": "In other words, Reika choosing to turn right was a declaration of war. She had no intention of treating this as a mere dance." }, "773": { "was": "She could choose the stable counterclockwise rotation, or meet Reika head-on and choose clockwise.", "now": "She could take the steady turn to the left, or go straight at her and take the right." }, "774": { "was": "If she turned counterclockwise, she would rotate in the same direction as the clockwise-turning Reika facing her, making it easier to deflect her force.", "now": "Turning left would carry her the same way round as Reika, who faced her turning right, making it easy to let the other's force slide past." }, "775": { "was": "If she turned clockwise, she would rotate in the opposite direction from the clockwise-turning Reika facing her, resulting in a direct confrontation.", "now": "Turning right would carry her against the right-turning Reika facing her, and it would become a head-on contest." }, "777": { "was": "Without missing a beat, Towa began to dance as well. Clockwise.", "now": "Without missing a beat, Towa began to dance as well. To the right." }, "_turns": "右回り/左回り are rightward/leftward turns, not clockwise/counterclockwise. The two face each other, so the frame is each dancer's own body: Towa turning to her left goes the same way round as Reika turning to her right. Rendered as clockwise, 774 claimed counterclockwise was the same direction as clockwise.", "1086": { "why": "人を後ろから撃つことしか出来ない modifies 暁宮カオル, not 娘, and 〜とは思えない is 'you would not think her to be'. 'Nothing like the daughter of Kaoru' says she is unlike Kaoru's daughter, but she is Kaoru's daughter -- the insult belongs to the mother.", "was": "She's a formidable enemy, nothing like the daughter of Akatsukinomiya Kaoru, who can do nothing but shoot people in the back.", "now": "A formidable enemy. You would never take her for the daughter of Akatsukinomiya Kaoru, who could do nothing but shoot people in the back." }, "1130": { "why": "お嬢――じゃなくて暁宮会長: the slip comes first and じゃなくて corrects it. The English put the correction first and the slip second, which reverses the joke -- her maid's habit escapes and she catches it.", "was": "\"Also, Misogigahara-sama, Akatsukinomiya President - I mean, the young lady - would like to speak with you. Would you be so kind as to come to the president's office?\"", "now": "\"Also, Misogigahara-sama. The young la--I mean, President Akatsukinomiya would like a word with you. Would you be so kind as to come to the president's office?\"" }, "1347": { "why": "副会長に…と告げる wraps the middle in reported speech, so 貴方 is the vice president, the addressee of that future sentence. Kept as 'you' it lands on Towa, who is the addressee of THIS one, making her both the one who declined and the one who dances.", "was": "\"There is no helping it. I will simply tell the vice president that Misogigahara-san became a candidate but declined, and that you will dance in her place.\"", "now": "\"There is no helping it. I will simply tell the vice president that Misogigahara-san became a candidate but declined, and that she will be dancing in Misogigahara-san's place.\"" }, "1349": { "was": "\"Understood. It is an important role in the 'Time of the Stars,' so caution is only natural. However, we are short on time, so I cannot wait too long.\"", "now": "\"Understood. It is an important role in the 'Star Hour,' so caution is only natural. However, we are short on time, so I cannot wait too long.\"" }, "1352": { "why": "どうするんですの is 'what will be done about it', and わたくしの使う is hypothetical -- she has no Magical Heart and is asking how one is to be arranged. Eris answers それはこちらで用意します, we will prepare it.", "was": "\"If I accept, what will happen to the Magical Heart I use?\"", "now": "\"If I were to accept. What would be done about the Magical Heart I am to use?\"" }, "1134": { "was": "\"Do you use that to dance in 'The Time of Stars'?\"", "now": "\"Do you use that to dance in 'Star Hour'?\"" }, "1371": { "why": "あの副会長 is a demonstrative, not a selector: there is only one vice president. Carried over literally it becomes 'that vice president', which implies a choice among several.", "was": "\"I heard it was a scholarship program founded by the family that vice president belongs to.\"", "now": "\"I hear it is a scholarship program founded by the family the vice president belongs to.\"" }, "1738": { "why": "もっと is Dee's own word from 1737, and 口に出した瞬間 is the moment she said it. Attributing it to Towa also breaks 1739, それはトワも同じだった, which needs the thought to have started with Dee.", "was": "The moment the words left her mouth, Dee lowered her head. She must have imagined what Towa meant by 'more.'", "now": "The moment the words left her mouth, Dee lowered her head. She must have pictured what that 'more' would mean." } }, "mgo_01_01": { "547": { "why": "name order: source is 月影レイカ", "was": "The only one taking it seriously was Reika Tsukikage, vice president of the Star Disciple Council.", "now": "The only one taking it seriously was Tsukikage Reika, vice president of the Star Disciple Council." }, "582": { "why": "name order: source is 月影レイカ", "was": "It was Reika Tsukikage, the Star Disciple vice president.", "now": "It was Tsukikage Reika, the Star Disciple vice president." }, "575": { "why": "name order: source is 垣原ヤエミ", "was": "\"I'm Yaemi Kakihara. I was selected from Kobe.\"", "now": "\"I'm Kakihara Yaemi. I was selected from Kobe.\"" }, "_butou": "738-768: 舞斗 came out as 'Mayuto', which is not a reading of it. See the Buto entry in mgo_names.json _notes.", "_dangling": "674 and 675 are one sentence split across two lines: the content, then なんて言えませんわっ！ as the punchline. Folding 'she couldn't tell her' into 674 states the refusal twice and invents an addressee the Japanese does not have.", "674": { "was": "She couldn't tell her that she had been forcibly stripped naked in front of the gate, made to relieve herself outdoors, and had no choice but to wear it...", "now": "Stripped naked in front of the gate, outdoors no less, made to soil herself, and left with nothing else she could wear..." }, "675": { "was": "She couldn't say that!", "now": "As if she could say any of that!" }, "_fukko": "復光学園 read fukkou, 40 occurrences and no glossary entry, so chapter one has it both ways. Fukko is the ASCII Hepburn form and outnumbered Fukkou 13 to 2.", "36": { "was": "She had stuck her face into a hole in the enormous wall and was staring at Towa as if trying to devour her. Judging by the Fukkou Academy uniform she wore, she must be a Star Disciple.", "now": "She had stuck her face into a hole in the enormous wall and was staring at Towa as if trying to devour her. Judging by the Fukko Academy uniform she wore, she must be a Star Disciple." }, "389": { "was": "\"Now, I will clean you thoroughly, so you will not be ashamed as a Star Disciple of Fukkou Academy.\"", "now": "\"Now, I will clean you thoroughly, so you will not be ashamed as a Star Disciple of Fukko Academy.\"" }, "_starbride": "『星の花嫁』 is the formal title every graduate receives, 15 occurrences in 8 chapters, and it had no glossary entry -- so each batch chose again: Star Brides, Star's Bride, Bride of the Stars. Now fixed as Star Bride. 502 is a different term, 『未来の花嫁』, and stays 'future brides'.", "733": { "was": "\"Round and round, we keep turning. We will keep turning the wheel of fate. Because that is what the Star's Bride is. The Bride.\"", "now": "\"Round and round, we keep turning. We will keep turning the wheel of fate. Because that is what a Star Bride is. A bride.\"" }, "1520": { "was": "\"Senbazuru Izuna 'Bride of the Stars' F Assigned Post: Antananarivo\"", "now": "\"Senbazuru Izuna 'Star Bride' F Assigned Post: Antananarivo\"" }, "_address": "Japanese addresses people by name where English uses 'you', and nothing in the sentence marks which it is. Taken as a subject instead, every 'you' in the line becomes 'she'. Found with tools/mgo_check_address.py.", "869": { "why": "the name is given once in the source; the English states it twice", "was": "\"Yep! She's a transfer student! This is Towa-senpai from the third year, Misogigahara Towa!\"", "now": "\"Yep! She's the transfer student! Third-year Misogigahara Towa-senpai!\"" }, "1255": { "why": "ディーさんはいいんですの is Towa asking Dee to her face, so わたくしとばかり一緒にいて is 'your time', not 'her time'", "was": "\"Isn't it okay for Dee-san? She spends all her time with me. Wouldn't that be a problem in terms of the social dynamics here?\"", "now": "\"Is this really all right for you, Dee-san? Spending all your time with me. Wouldn't that be a problem, in terms of the dynamics of your relationships here?\"" }, "_moonstone": "最強の『ムーンストーン』 drops the category word that 最強のエネルギーコア『ムーンストーン』 carries at 1478 and 1172. Rendered literally, 'the strongest Moonstone' reads as the strongest specimen of a substance rather than the strongest core. The apposition restores what the 『』 convention supplies in Japanese.", "1070": { "was": "There was a very good chance the traitor's daughter possessed the strongest 'Moonstone.' Victory would have been uncertain enough with that alone, and her toady was there too... There was a good chance she possessed one as well.", "now": "There was a very good chance the traitor's daughter possessed 'Moonstone,' the strongest of the Energy Cores. Victory would have been uncertain enough with that alone, and her toady was there too... There was a good chance she possessed one as well." }, "_tenjin": "天人 is a Celestial; 天人の幽鬼 is a Celestial Specter, the drone it controls. With no glossary entry for bare 天人 the model reached for the term it had, so these lines credited the attacks to the drones. 987 gets both right in one sentence: 天人ウィッチの操る幽鬼達.", "722": { "was": "Apparently, the Celestial Specters' weather manipulation and crustal shifts have brought it this close.", "now": "Apparently, the Celestials' weather manipulation and crustal shifts have brought it this close." }, "738": { "was": "The Star Disciple Council President played the saint who was the Messiah, while performing a 'Mayuto' with the vice president, who played a Celestial Specter.", "now": "The Star Disciple Council President played the saint who was the Messiah, while performing a 'Buto' with the vice president, who played a Celestial." }, "739": { "was": "Apparently, the story was that through the 'Mayuto,' the saint defeated the Celestial Specter and saved the world by gaining its power.", "now": "Apparently, the story was that through the 'Buto,' the saint defeated the Celestial and saved the world by gaining its power." }, "826": { "was": "\"They were destroyed by an attack from the Celestial Specters, if I recall.\"", "now": "\"They were destroyed by an attack from the Celestials, if I recall.\"" }, "827": { "was": "\"Yep. Apparently this used to be student housing, but the Celestial Specters invaded and it ended up like this.\"", "now": "\"Yep. Apparently this used to be student housing, but the Celestials invaded and it ended up like this.\"" }, "829": { "was": "\"Apparently the student council president became a 'Jewel Princess' and beat those Celestial Specters, so this was all that happened.\"", "now": "\"Apparently the student council president became a 'Jewel Princess' and beat those Celestials, so this was all that happened.\"" }, "832": { "was": "\"Um, because there's a high chance that pollutants spread by the Celestial Specters are still here, so it's been closed off, I think? Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's it.\"", "now": "\"Um, because there's a high chance that pollutants spread by the Celestials are still here, so it's been closed off, I think? Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's it.\"" }, "740": { "was": "The choir occupied half the stage. The girls practicing the 'Mayuto' occupied the other half.", "now": "The choir occupied half the stage. The girls practicing the 'Buto' occupied the other half." }, "744": { "was": "\"So this is a ceremonial 'Mayuto,' then.\"", "now": "\"So this is a ceremonial 'Buto,' then.\"" }, "745": { "was": "The original 'Mayuto' was humanity's answer to abolishing the violent means of war.", "now": "The original 'Buto' was humanity's answer to abolishing the violent means of war." }, "746": { "was": "When interests became entangled and no resolution could be reached, the parties and organizations involved would each send a representative and settle the matter through a 'Mayuto,' apparently.", "now": "When interests became entangled and no resolution could be reached, the parties and organizations involved would each send a representative and settle the matter through a 'Buto,' apparently." }, "755": { "was": "The dazzling group dance before me was a far cry from the meaning of the 'Mayuto.'", "now": "The dazzling group dance before me was a far cry from the meaning of the 'Buto.'" }, "768": { "was": "\"I wasn't chosen because I'm terrible at 'Mayuto.' See?\"", "now": "\"I wasn't chosen because I'm terrible at 'Buto.' See?\"" }, "843": { "why": "835-842 are third person in the source and stay that way. 843 is the one line that breaks to わたくし, at the moment she has to say she killed her sister herself. The break is the point.", "was": "And then... Towa had granted her sister's plea and delivered the finishing blow -", "now": "And then... at my sister's plea, I delivered the finishing blow--" }, "_sister": "611-615: ディーの、死んだ筈の妹の声 is an apposition -- ディーの and 死んだ筈の妹の both modify 声. Dee is the name of Towa's own dead sister, which is why she starts to say it at 616 and corrects herself. Read as a possessive chain it becomes 'Dee's sister', which makes the scene incoherent.", "611": { "was": "That was the voice of Dee's sister, who was supposed to be dead.", "now": "It was Dee's voice. My little sister's, who was supposed to be dead." }, "612": { "was": "I whipped my gaze toward her, and she really was Dee's sister.", "now": "I whipped my gaze toward her, and it really was my little sister." }, "615": { "was": "Since she was older than the dead sister, her features were a little less childish, but their voices were practically identical...", "now": "Being older than my dead sister, her features have lost a little of their childishness, but the voice alone is truly identical..." }, "606": { "why": "name order: source is 月影レイカ", "was": "\"I'm sorry. I'm Reika Tsukikage. I also serve as the vice president of Fukko Academy. If you have any problems, tell me anything.\"", "now": "\"I'm sorry. I'm Tsukikage Reika. I also serve as the vice president of Fukko Academy. If you have any problems, tell me anything.\"" }, "609": { "why": "name order: source is 禊ヶ原トワ先輩", "was": "\"...Is Towa Misogigahara-senpai here?\"", "now": "\"...Is Misogigahara Towa-senpai here?\"" }, "873": { "why": "name order: source is 時河アユム", "was": "\"Ah. Forgive me for failing to introduce myself. My name is Ayumu Tokigawa, and I am a third-year.\"", "now": "\"Ah. Forgive me for failing to introduce myself. My name is Tokigawa Ayumu, and I am a third-year.\"" }, "879": { "why": "部長 is a title, not an honorific, and the line is Dee's joke about it", "was": "\"Tokigawa-senpai is a club president!\"", "now": "\"So Club President Tokigawa really is a club president!\"" }, "1486": { "why": "the roster uses her formal name 夕蒼セレスティナ", "was": "Vice President: Tsukikage Reika. General Affairs: Yuzuki Serena. Secretary: Shizune Daonault.", "now": "Vice President: Tsukikage Reika. General Affairs: Yuzuki Celestina. Secretary: Shizune Daonault." }, "1492": { "why": "the roster uses her formal name 夕蒼セレスティナ", "was": "\"And this year's officers... Vice President, Tsukikage Reika. General Affairs, Yuzuki Serena. Secretary, Shizune Daonault...\"", "now": "\"And this year's officers... Vice President, Tsukikage Reika. General Affairs, Yuzuki Celestina. Secretary, Shizune Daonault...\"" }, "1695": { "why": "時河部長 is Club President Tokigawa; -senpai is not in the source", "was": "If Tokigawa-senpai could keep missing class without being reprimanded, there was no way anyone would fault her for a mere yawn.", "now": "If Club President Tokigawa could keep missing class without being reprimanded, there was no way anyone would fault her for a mere yawn." }, "1888": { "why": "source is 「そ、それにお前達だってこいつを！」 -- the name and the second sentence were invented outright", "was": "\"Aren't you a fox borrowing the tiger's authority, too!? A-and besides, you people did this to her! You did this to Izuna! To her 'Citrine'!\"", "now": "\"Aren't you a fox borrowing the tiger's authority, too!? A-and besides, you lot did this to her!\"" }, "1862": { "why": "source is bare ディー; the honorific is invented", "was": "And besides, if things came to that, I might not even be able to look Dee-san in the face...", "now": "And besides, if things came to that, I might not even be able to look Dee in the face..." }, "_recollection": "1456-1476 is Towa's own recollection, sustained first person in the source (わたくし, ですわ). The model rendered it partly as third-person narration about Towa, which reads as though someone else is telling her story. 1455 is genuine third person and stays.", "1456": { "was": "The day she lost her little sister. No, the day she killed her little sister with her own hands.", "now": "The day I lost my little sister. No, the day I killed my little sister with my own hands." }, "1457": { "was": "After her mother was executed as the worst kind of traitor for colluding with the Celestials, the sisters were imprisoned as the relatives of a criminal, all their data erased and their human rights stripped away.", "now": "After my mother was executed as the worst kind of traitor for colluding with the Celestials, my sister and I were treated as the kin of a criminal, all our data erased and our human rights stripped away." }, "1458": { "was": "They were imprisoned in separate places, and with her sister's life held hostage, Towa could not even choose suicide. She was used as a test subject for converting the daughter of a traitor into a compatible host. Her body was cut apart...", "now": "We were confined in separate places, and with my sister's life held hostage, I could not even choose death. I was used as a test subject for converting the traitor's daughter into a compatible host. My body was cut apart..." }, "1459": { "was": "But the procedure performed on Towa failed. With her body crippled and covered in large, ugly scars from being cut apart and stitched back together, she was abandoned without any further treatment, left to wait for death day after day.", "now": "But the procedure performed on me failed. Crippled, left with great ugly scars from being cut apart and stitched back together, I was abandoned without any further treatment, with nothing to do but wait for death, day after day." }, "1460": { "was": "But on that day, her little sister came to Towa, who had been doing nothing but waiting to die.", "now": "But on that day, my little sister came to me, when all I could do was wait to die." }, "1461": { "was": "She overloaded the Energy Core Serendibite, destroyed the experimental facility, and came to Towa... Then she used that power to heal Towa's body.", "now": "She overloaded the Energy Core Serendibite, destroyed the experimental facility, and came to me... Then she used that power to heal my body." }, "1462": { "was": "Even as she did so, her little sister continued to bleed. Because she was not a perfect compatible host, she could not control her power completely.", "now": "Even as she did so, my little sister went on bleeding. Because she was not a perfect compatible host, she could not control her power completely." }, "1463": { "was": "Right before Towa's eyes, her sister's almond-colored skin split open, healed, and split open again. Her lips trembled with pain, and she had turned pale from blood loss.", "now": "Right before my eyes, my sister's almond-colored skin split open, healed, and split open again. Her lips trembled with pain, and she had turned pale from blood loss." }, "1464": { "was": "Towa told her to stop, over and over. To stop.", "now": "I told her to stop, over and over. To stop." }, "1465": { "was": "But in the midst of that terrible agony, her sister told her:", "now": "But in the midst of that terrible agony, my sister told me:" }, "1468": { "was": "After healing Towa, her little sister took flight. To fight the daughter of the traitor.", "now": "After healing me, my little sister took flight. To fight the traitor's daughter." }, "1469": { "was": "But the Energy Core Moonstone was overwhelmingly powerful. That woman cruelly toyed with her sister as she destroyed her, and even then, her sister gathered the last of her strength to return to Towa...", "now": "But the Energy Core Moonstone was overwhelmingly powerful. That woman cruelly toyed with my sister as she destroyed her, and even then, my sister gathered the last of her strength to return to me..." }, "1470": { "was": "Her sister's limbs had been smashed to pieces, and more than half of her internal organs had been crushed. She was in such terrible condition that Serendibite could not repair her in time.", "now": "My sister's limbs had been smashed to pieces, and more than half of her internal organs had been crushed. She was in such terrible condition that Serendibite could not repair her in time." }, "1471": { "was": "Towa knew at a glance that her sister could not be saved.", "now": "At a single glance, I knew she could not be saved." }, "1472": { "was": "Her sister gave Towa Serendibite and told her she did not want that monster, that traitor's clan, to have the satisfaction of victory. That was why she wanted Towa to kill her.", "now": "My sister pressed Serendibite into my hands and told me she did not want that woman, that traitor's clan, to have the satisfaction of victory. That was why she wanted me to be the one to kill her." }, "1476": { "was": "That was the only chance she had to reclaim the stolen Energy Cores.", "now": "That was the only chance I had to reclaim the stolen Energy Cores." }, "_fukou": "A third spelling of 復光学園 that the Fukkou fix missed: Fukou, with one k. Found by tools/mgo_check_terms.py, which compares the glossary against chapters translated before the entry existed.", "1442": { "was": "A cramped room with monitors covering the walls. Some of the monitors and equipment were dead, but the rest continued displaying various data from Fukou Academy.", "now": "A cramped room with monitors covering the walls. Some of the monitors and equipment were dead, but the rest continued displaying various data from Fukko Academy." }, "1485": { "was": "She already had a good idea who the owners were. The officers of Fukou Academy's Star Disciples' Council. Those who stood at the traitor's daughter's side.", "now": "She already had a good idea who the owners were. The officers of Fukko Academy's Star Disciple Council. Those who stood at the traitor's daughter's side." }, "_selftouch": "1546-1547 is one sentence split across two display lines. The English swapped the halves and put it in third person, between two first-person lines -- 1545 and 1548 are both わたくし. It also dropped エネルギーコアの発見法, how the cores are detected.", "1546": { "was": "It was true that she had touched her own body after imitating what had been done to her during that humiliating examination.", "now": "It is true that I did -- to build up some ability to resist that physical examination, and further, to learn how an Energy Core is detected --" }, "1547": { "was": "She had done so to develop the ability to resist that physical examination, and to learn how to find the Energy Core. It was purely to devise a countermeasure!", "now": "-- retrace what had been done to me in that humiliating inspection, and touch my own body. Purely to work out a countermeasure!" }, "735": { "was": "\"For 'The Hour of the Stars'?\"", "now": "\"For 'The Star Hour'?\"" }, "737": { "was": "Towa knew about it too. 'The Hour of the Stars' was a ritual unique to this Fukko Academy.", "now": "Towa knew about it too. 'The Star Hour' was a ritual unique to this Fukko Academy." }, "763": { "was": "But then again, that meant... if I defeated the traitor's daughter in this 'Hour of the Stars'...", "now": "But then again, that meant... if I defeated the traitor's daughter in this 'Star Hour'..." }, "_starhour": "星の時間 appears 91 times with no glossary entry, so it came out as Star Hour, Hour of the Stars and Time of the Stars. Fixed as Star Hour, the majority form.", "527": { "why": "そういうお説教だ has no pronoun; 教師 is never gendered anywhere in the script.", "was": "That was the sermon he was giving them.", "now": "That was the sermon." }, "533": { "why": "Subject omitted in the Japanese; the teacher has no stated sex.", "was": "That is precisely why he is talking about this now.", "now": "That is precisely why the teacher is bringing this up now." }, "1910": { "why": "Repeated scene: same Japanese line as mgo_02_01[544], already corrected there.", "was": "\"What will you do? Well, I suppose I could let you off this time. As a loyal toady, shouldn't I say that?\"", "now": "\"What will you do? I suppose I could let you off the hook this time. But as her loyal toady, shouldn’t I tell the president?\"" }, "144": { "why": "JP refers to the core already under discussion: 'that', not 'the'", "was": "That would be the matter of my stealing the Energy Core last night.", "now": "That would be the matter of my stealing that Energy Core last night." }, "240": { "why": "JP 判られてしまう is passive narration about Towa being found out, not first-person 'I can tell'", "was": "I can tell even through the fabric that her nipples are hard and erect.", "now": "Even through the fabric, there was no hiding that her nipples were hard and erect." }, "270": { "why": "ひきょふっ is slurred 卑怯 (unfair), not 'hypocrite'", "was": "\"Ngh! Ah! Nooo! Not this... Ah, h-hypocrite! Ahn!\"", "now": "\"Ngh! Ah! Nooo! Not this... Ah, n-no fair! Ahn!\"" }, "307": { "why": "中の乙女 is a euphemism for genitals, not 'the girl within'; 上の下着/下 are bra/panties", "was": "Her top was barely clinging to her, leaving her breasts almost completely exposed. Her bottom was thoroughly soaked and crumpled, making the shape of the girl within clearly visible.", "now": "Her bra was barely clinging on, leaving her breasts almost completely exposed. Her panties were thoroughly soaked and twisted, clearly showing the shape of her maidenhood beneath." }, "566": { "why": "Towa's inner monologue about the VP; JP has no 'you', honorific いらっしゃる misread as address", "was": "You seem quite conscious of those two... No, more precisely, of the traitor's daughter.", "now": "She seems quite conscious of those two... No, more precisely, of the traitor's daughter." }, "567": { "why": "Towa's inner monologue about the VP, not addressed to her", "was": "And your gaze was not warm. It held a dark shadow of some sort.", "now": "And her gaze was not warm. It held a dark shadow of some sort." } }, "mgo_01_03": { "_note": "First chapter translated on gpt-5.6-terra. 1354 is the person slide; the rest are name-as-address, all in lines Dee speaks straight to Towa -- several are internally inconsistent, naming her in one clause and saying 'you' in the next.", "1354": { "why": "わたくし rendered as Towa in her own recollection", "was": "Without that girl, Towa would surely have remained ignorant of everything.", "now": "Without that girl, I would surely have remained ignorant of everything." }, "803": { "why": "continues 802, spoken to Towa", "was": "\"It must be something big, and Towa-senpai doesn't have anyone to fight alongside her. Even so, she hasn't given up.\"", "now": "\"It must be something big, and you don't have anyone to fight alongside you. Even so, you haven't given up.\"" }, "861": { "why": "names her and then says 'she' in the same breath", "was": "\"I-I just listened to your story! Besides, I think Towa-senpai ended up facing forward and moving on.\"", "now": "\"I-I just listened to your story! Besides, I think you ended up facing forward and moving on, Towa-senpai.\"" }, "_split": "14-15 are one sentence: 音が…… on 14, しませんわね on 15. The verb and its negation land on the second line, which is the gag. Closing 14 as a positive sentence makes 15 read as her contradicting herself.", "14": { "was": "I can hear something from the room next door without even straining my ears...", "now": "Without even needing to strain my ears, sounds from the next room..." }, "15": { "was": "Actually, I can't. This place has excellent soundproofing, after all.", "now": "...do not reach me at all. This place has excellent soundproofing, after all." }, "650": { "why": "name order: source is 暁宮カオル", "was": "Kaoru Akatsukinomiya stole Mother's plan to restore humanity, claimed the whole plan as her own, and took credit for all its results.", "now": "Akatsukinomiya Kaoru stole Mother's plan to restore humanity, claimed the whole plan as her own, and took credit for all its results." }, "948": { "why": "わたくし rendered as Towa in her own planning", "was": "Instead, if Towa deliberately arrived late on the day of the Star Hour, the maid would come to pick her up.", "now": "Instead, if I deliberately arrived late on the day of the Star Hour, the maid would come to pick me up." }, "1187": { "why": "『ラピスラズリ』と『ルベライト』 -- the glossary name was garbled into 'Lapis Lapis' despite Lapis Lazuli being a fixed term", "was": "Lapis Lapis and Rubellite.", "now": "\"Lapis Lazuli and Rubellite.\"" }, "53": { "why": "くんじょーび is 燻蒸日 in kana -- Fumigation Day. Left romanised it means nothing, and 951 already renders 燻蒸 as fumigation.", "was": "Besides, today is kunjobi.", "now": "\"Besides, today is fumigation day.\"" }, "56": { "why": "the sentence stops dead: 『燻蒸日』 was dropped and nothing follows 'an event called'.", "was": "Come to think of it, I seem to recall seeing an event called ", "now": "Come to think of it, I do recall seeing something called 'Fumigation Day' on the schedule of events." }, "173": { "why": "ディーも色で選んでいる is Towa's inner remark about Dee -- 'Dee picks hers by colour too', echoing 169 where Towa admits she likes the colours. The English swapped the subject to Towa and made it a question put to her, so she is asking herself.", "was": "So you choose yours by color too, don't you, Towa?", "now": "So Dee picks hers by color as well." }, "340": { "why": "わたくしはともかく is \"never mind me\", Towa setting herself aside -- not agreeing that she is glad.", "was": "\"I suppose I am, but Dee, you've been here several times before, haven't you?\"", "now": "\"Never mind me -- you have been here several times before, have you not, Dee?\"" }, "544": { "why": "嘆きの壁 must stay Wailing Wall, as at lines 311-312.", "was": "If merciless killing was still going on beyond that 'Wall of Lament'...", "now": "If merciless killing was still going on beyond that ‘Wailing Wall’..." }, "327": { "why": "時河部長 is Club President Tokigawa everywhere else (11 occurrences); Chief is a one-off invention.", "was": "Towa thought that Tokigawa Chief was probably the one who had arranged these stones.", "now": "Towa thought that Club President Tokigawa was probably the one who had arranged these stones." }, "439": { "why": "Two source lines welded into one sentence, so the deliberate 茶番/茶番 echo reads as an accident. The em-dash restatement keeps the repetition doing what it does in the Japanese.", "was": "The 'Buto' performed at the end of the farce known as the 'Star Hour' was a farce designed to turn Akatsukinomiya Eris into the Messiah who would save the stars.", "now": "The ‘Buto’ performed at the end of the farce called the ‘Star Hour’ — that too was a farce, staged to make Akatsukinomiya Eris into the Messiah who would save the stars." }, "442": { "why": "相手 is the person Towa is talking to, and no name belongs in the English. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "And yet her opponent said she was fine with that anyway. There was no way she could truly mean it. She must not mean it.", "now": "And now they're saying that would be okay. That can't be true. It couldn't be." }, "467": { "why": "Zero-subject line; the referent is Serena from 463 (彼女が上手だった), not Towa.", "was": "\"Maybe it's because you always practiced with the student council president?\"", "now": "\"Maybe it’s because they always practiced with the student council president?\"" }, "469": { "why": "Zero-subject line; Dee saw Serena and the president practising, not Towa.", "was": "\"I saw you a few times while we were making confetti.\"", "now": "\"I saw them a few times while we were making confetti.\"" }, "713": { "why": "そういうことばっかり is what Towa says, not what she thinks. The stutter in the source is on あたし, not on the name. だめなのに is a hanging concessive carrying Dee's insecurity (cf. あたしきたないよ at 710), not a rule about what is allowed. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"No... Ah, T-Towa-senpai, that's all you ever think about! I-I... Ah! No, I shouldn't...\"", "now": "\"No... ah, Towa-senpai, you always say things like that... I-I... for someone like me...\"" }, "720": { "why": "シャワーを is a request with the verb dropped; the bare English noun does not read as one. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"Mmm... Ah... T-Towa-senpai, the shower...\"", "now": "\"Mmm... Ah... T-Towa-senpai, let’s shower...\"" }, "1245": { "why": "わたくしですわ carries no name.", "was": "\"Dee! It's me, Towa!\"", "now": "\"Dee! It’s me!\"" }, "1250": { "why": "やっぱり…んだ is present-tense realisation, and あたしなら is a separate thought setting herself aside, not a conditional. Wording chosen by the user.", "was": "\"...I knew Towa-senpai was fighting... I'd be okay... really...\"", "now": "\"...I knew it, Towa-senpai really is fighting... Don’t mind me, I’m okay...\"" }, "1252": { "why": "…ばいいが is Towa hoping, not an evaluation, and …していたら breaks off unfinished. Wording chosen by the user.", "was": "It would be good if the damage ended with bruises, but what if those vicious kicks caused internal bleeding?", "now": "She could only hope it had stopped at bruises. But if those vicious kicks had caused internal bleeding..." }, "1290": { "why": "あいつら carries no gender, and 汚されちゃった keeps Dee as the subject with the agents marked afterwards. Wording chosen by the user.", "was": "\"...They... They defiled me... Those guys and the vice president... I'll never be clean again...\"", "now": "\"...I... I was defiled... By the vice president and the others... I’ll never be clean again...\"" }, "1292": { "why": "へっちゃら is breezy childish bravado, not a flat statement of being okay -- the next line calls the laugh forced. Wording chosen by the user.", "was": "\"Y-yeah, you're right! I'm okay.\"", "now": "\"Y-yeah, you’re right! Yeah, no big deal!\"" }, "1297": { "why": "人間 is people generically, not men -- everyone involved was female.", "was": "She's talking about how men other than me humiliated her all over for nearly half a day. Dee thinks I would despise her for that.", "now": "She's talking about how people other than me humiliated her all over for nearly half a day. Dee thinks I would despise her for that." }, "1224": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "\"Senju Ranbu!\"", "now": "\"Thousand-Hand Dance!\"" } }, "mgo_01_04": { "747": { "why": "Interior monologue in first person; わたくし twice in the line, so naming her breaks out of her head mid-thought.", "was": "The Towa that girl loved was the kind of person who always tried to move forward.", "now": "The me that girl loved always pressed forward." }, "178": { "why": "Reika means one specific unaccounted-for core, as line 180 spells out; the indefinite article only fits Towa's categorical framing in the prologue (ロストハートのひとつ).", "was": "There was also the possibility that the girl whose body was never found had survived. Akatsukinomiya covered it up, but there was also the possibility of a Lost Heart.", "now": "\"There was also the possibility that the girl whose body was never found had survived. Akatsukinomiya covered it up, but there was the possibility of the Lost Heart, too.\"" }, "241": { "why": "貴様とメイド has no possessive; the maid is not Towa's.", "was": "\"Because of you and your maid, I used up two dolls, so I'm replenishing my stock.\"", "now": "\"Because of you and that maid, I used up two dolls, so I’m replenishing my stock.\"" }, "276": { "why": "のに here is not contrastive: も持っていないのに is 'without even having', an observation, not a contradiction with the main clause.", "was": "Even though she doesn't have my 'Crown'... This must be quite a problem for her...", "now": "And she doesn’t even have my 'Crown'... That must be quite a struggle..." }, "310": { "why": "宝石姫 is a class, not an individual; the definite article was inconsistent with line 313.", "was": "Why... is it showing anything...? When the 'Jewel Princess' manifests, the surrounding monitors should be dead from interference by the force field...", "now": "Why... is it showing anything...? When a 'Jewel Princess' manifests, the surrounding monitors should be dead from interference by the force field..." }, "311": { "why": "Same; and the negative reads more naturally with no.", "was": "If it is showing an image, that means the 'Jewel Princess' has not manifested.", "now": "If it is showing an image, that means no 'Jewel Princess' has manifested." }, "326": { "why": "Dee is on the phone addressing the President: 何もしない is second person. And the Japanese is present tense -- it is happening as she speaks.", "was": "\"Why!? Why won't she do anything!? Her side was really torn open, and there was blood everywhere! She's seriously hurt! I'm not lying!\"", "now": "\"Why!? Why won’t you do anything!? Her side is really torn open and there’s blood everywhere! She’s seriously hurt! I’m not lying!\"" }, "354": { "why": "わたくし、もう疲れましたわ was replaced with an invented clause about being scolded.", "was": "\"Go on and shoot. You'll be scolded later if you don't. But don't shoot here.\"", "now": "\"Go on and shoot. I have had enough... Just don’t shoot here.\"" }, "299": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "Towa considered telling Dee to contact the Club President, since she was someone the Vice President would not want contacted.", "now": "Towa considered telling Dee to contact the President, since she was someone the Vice President would not want contacted." }, "303": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "There was no point in telling her. Dee would either not contact anyone, or pretend she did not know how to reach the Club President.", "now": "There was no point in telling her. Dee would either not contact anyone, or pretend she did not know how to reach the President." }, "304": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "\"I-I know it's scary, but we'll have to contact the Club President! Let's see, the contact info is...\"", "now": "\"I-I know it's scary, but we'll have to contact the President! Let's see, the contact info is...\"" }, "407": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "\"I gave it some thought. It would be foolish to divert any of my 'Lapis Lazuli' resources elsewhere when I have to face the Club President.\"", "now": "\"I gave it some thought. It would be foolish to divert any of my 'Lapis Lazuli' resources elsewhere when I have to face the President.\"" }, "461": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "Despite all that commotion, no gawkers had gathered. No Guardians had stormed the hideout. The Club President hadn't even made an inquiry.", "now": "Despite all that commotion, no gawkers had gathered. No Guardians had stormed the hideout. The President hadn't even made an inquiry." }, "506": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "The Club President was sitting alone as well. It was the place where she had sat beside Serena on the day she performed Buto with the Vice President.", "now": "The President was sitting alone as well. It was the place where she had sat beside Serena on the day she performed Buto with the Vice President." }, "509": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "That day. The Club President had not saved the maid. She had not answered Dee's call, either.", "now": "That day. The President had not saved the maid. She had not answered Dee's call, either." }, "510": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "If only the Club President had done so, the Vice President, the maid, and Dee might all have been here.", "now": "If only the President had done so, the Vice President, the maid, and Dee might all have been here." }, "511": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "The Club President's expression was calm, revealing nothing of the emotions within.", "now": "The President's expression was calm, revealing nothing of the emotions within." }, "547": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "She saw the Club President stand up as well.", "now": "She saw the President stand up as well." }, "609": { "why": "会長 is the student council president (Eris), not 部長 the club president; the 部長 glossary entry bled onto 会長.", "was": "The Club President raised one hand high into the air.", "now": "The President raised one hand high into the air." }, "459": { "why": "メイドがレイカがあの子が lists three individuals; the maid is Serena, singular.", "was": "The maids, Reika, and that girl were gone, yet it was as though nothing had happened.", "now": "The maid, Reika, and that girl were gone, yet it was as though nothing had happened." }, "708": { "why": "抗う声 has no object; the voice is Towa's own protest from the previous line.", "was": "But the voice resisting her was feeble.", "now": "But the protest in her voice was feeble." }, "519": { "why": "Repeated scene: same Japanese line as mgo_01_01[733], already corrected there.", "was": "\"Round and round, we keep turning. We will keep turning the wheel of fate. That is what it means to be a Star Bride. A bride.\"", "now": "\"Round and round, we keep turning. We will keep turning the wheel of fate. Because that is what a Star Bride is. A bride.\"" }, "661": { "why": "バートリー is Bathory; the script produced three spellings.", "was": "The power of Serendibite. It was Bartory.", "now": "The power of Serendibite. It was Bathory." }, "493": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機 to the established Cultural Maid Machine.", "was": "She heard the sound of the cultural maid machine entering Dee's room.", "now": "She heard the sound of the Cultural Maid Machine entering Dee's room." }, "83": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "In addition to the light blasts from Senju Ranbu, light blasts fired from the tip of the whip as well. Reika stopped most of them with magnificent technique, but she could not avoid taking several hits!", "now": "In addition to the light blasts from Thousand-Hand Dance, light blasts fired from the tip of the whip as well. Reika stopped most of them with magnificent technique, but she could not avoid taking several hits!" }, "650": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Celestial Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "681": { "why": "Normalising 322\\u5929\\u5927\\u7832 to Conquering Heaven Cannon; also normalize Hasshaa Shiin to Hashshashin", "was": "But Thousand-Hand Dance could not pierce a force field that Celestial Cannon could not penetrate. Husher Scene could only be used at extremely close range.", "now": "But Thousand-Hand Dance could not pierce a force field that Conquering Heaven Cannon could not penetrate. Hashshashin could only be used at extremely close range." }, "680": { "why": "normalize Hasshaa Shiin terminology to Hashshashin (was 'Husher Scene')", "was": "Citrine's Thousand-Hand Dance. Lapis Lazuli's Husher Scene.", "now": "Citrine's Thousand-Hand Dance. Lapis Lazuli's Hashshashin." } }, "mgo_02_01": { "346": { "why": "星華 leaked through as Star華 -- a non-ASCII character the engine cannot render -- and the city name is Seika Renaissance Polis Fukko elsewhere.", "was": "Even so, the Magical Hearts continued to be targeted, which was why my mother, the former Chairwoman, built the impregnable academy city known as Fukko, Star華 Renaissance Polis.", "now": "Even so, the Magical Hearts continued to be targeted, which was why my mother, the former Chairwoman, built the impregnable academy city known as Seika Renaissance Polis Fukko." }, "451": { "why": "Name order is surname first throughout.", "was": "The goddess's name was Eris Akatsukinomiya. Me.", "now": "The goddess's name was Akatsukinomiya Eris. Me." }, "455": { "why": "Name order is surname first throughout.", "was": "But she had no way to save humanity other than following the plan of Kaoru Akatsukinomiya and the Celestial Yuda.", "now": "But she had no way to save humanity other than following the plan of Akatsukinomiya Kaoru and the Celestial Yuda." }, "278": { "why": "Interior monologue in first person (ボクのことを); naming her breaks out of her head mid-thought.", "was": "She was sitting there on nothing but her parents' bloodline, yet she had the nerve to threaten Reika!", "now": "She was sitting there on nothing but her parents' bloodline, yet she had the nerve to threaten me!" }, "436": { "why": "彼 is a pronoun; the name is not in the line.", "was": "She had danced with Yuda countless times already. They danced gracefully as a perfectly synchronized pair.", "now": "She had danced with him countless times already. They danced gracefully as a perfectly synchronized pair." }, "72": { "why": "シメーカン is 使命感 in katakana, not a proper noun; romanising it leaves an English reader nothing. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "Having to be pushed this far before she can be honest... It must be tough being someone with a shimeikan and all.", "now": "Having to be pushed this far before she can be honest... It must be tough being someone with a code of honor." }, "102": { "why": "Same katakana device: セキニンカン (責任感) came out as shimeikan a second time, and the ほこり/ホコリ pun (pride vs dust) was reversed.", "was": "Well, maybe she's stressed out by all that shimeikan and shimeikan stuff, or by the stuffiness of that Tsukikage family, rather than by actual dust.", "now": "Well, between a sense of responsibility and a code of honor, and the pride of that house called Tsukikage - or rather, the actual dust - she is probably just stressed out." }, "135": { "why": "時河部長 is Club President Tokigawa everywhere else, and 文藝部 is the Literary Club (8 uses against 2).", "was": "The explanations from Tokigawa Club President and the stories from Yuzuki-senpai were interesting in the Literature Club, but she still wasn't interested in reading books herself...", "now": "The explanations from Club President Tokigawa and the stories from Yuzuki-senpai were interesting in the Literary Club, but she still wasn't interested in reading books herself..." }, "192": { "why": "Club President of the ... Club is redundant in English.", "was": "The person standing there was Tokigawa Ayumu, the Club President of the Literary Club.", "now": "The person standing there was Tokigawa Ayumu, the president of the Literary Club." }, "536": { "why": "Same redundancy; matched to the wording approved for 192.", "was": "\"I'm the Literary Club President, after all, so I can imagine the lines from the character archetype. It's a common pattern.\"", "now": "\"I’m the president of the Literary Club, after all, so I can imagine the lines from the character archetype. It’s a common pattern.\"" }, "395": { "why": "Yuda is male; the glossary lists him as male and the Japanese marks no gender.", "was": "Yuda spun around with a dance-like step. Her white cloak billowed like an angel's wings.", "now": "Yuda spun around with a dance-like step. His white cloak billowed like an angel's wings." }, "396": { "why": "Yuda is male; the glossary lists him as male and the Japanese marks no gender.", "was": "A smile graced her beautiful face,", "now": "A smile graced his beautiful face," }, "399": { "why": "Yuda is male; the glossary lists him as male and the Japanese marks no gender.", "was": "\"And just when Yuda thought she had found it, she ran into a Sherman. It was dangerous, since Yuda wasn't prepared to fight.\"", "now": "\"And just when Yuda thought he had found it, he ran into a Sherman. It was dangerous, since Yuda wasn't prepared to fight.\"" }, "434": { "why": "Yuda is male; the glossary lists him as male and the Japanese marks no gender.", "was": "Yuda calmly held out her hand.", "now": "Yuda calmly held out his hand." }, "465": { "why": "Yuda is male; the glossary lists him as male and the Japanese marks no gender.", "was": "Yuda lowered the corners of her eyes and put on a sorrowful expression.", "now": "Yuda lowered the corners of his eyes and put on a sorrowful expression." }, "472": { "why": "Yuda is male; the glossary lists him as male and the Japanese marks no gender.", "was": "With sorrow in her eyes, Yuda would join the march to exterminate humanity.", "now": "With sorrow in his eyes, Yuda would join the march to exterminate humanity." }, "477": { "why": "Yuda is male; the glossary lists him as male and the Japanese marks no gender.", "was": "Yuda the Celestial laughed in apparent good humor. She laughed cheerfully.", "now": "Yuda the Celestial laughed in apparent good humor. He laughed cheerfully." }, "405": { "why": "Yuda is male; 405 and 470 say 彼 outright.", "was": "The conversation was pointless. Her tone was polite, but she just carried on the conversation on her own and said only what she wanted to say.", "now": "The conversation was pointless. His tone was polite, but he just carried on the conversation on his own and said only what he wanted to say." }, "425": { "why": "Yuda is male, and the self-correction ran backwards: 人類の味方を、いや、チャンスを与えるべき goes ally first, then corrects to chance.", "was": "Yet there was one Celestial who alone concluded that humanity should be given a chance - no, that she should take humanity's side.", "now": "Yet there was one Celestial who alone concluded that he should take humanity's side - no, that humanity should be given a chance." }, "430": { "why": "Yuda is male; 405 and 470 say 彼 outright.", "was": "A purple jewel glimmered on her wrist. It was the Magical Heart 'Tanzanite.'", "now": "A purple jewel glimmered on his wrist. It was the Magical Heart 'Tanzanite.'" }, "466": { "why": "Yuda is male; 405 and 470 say 彼 outright.", "was": "But to Eris, it looked like an act performed by someone who knew that doing so would make her look sad.", "now": "But to Eris, it looked like an act performed by someone who knew that doing so would make him look sad." }, "470": { "why": "Yuda is male; 405 and 470 say 彼 outright.", "was": "She was a Celestial. A demigod of judgment.", "now": "He was a Celestial. A demigod of judgment." }, "471": { "why": "Yuda is male; 405 and 470 say 彼 outright.", "was": "She would carry out her original programming, her mission to pass judgment on humanity as a god.", "now": "He would carry out his original programming, his mission to pass judgment on humanity as a god." }, "495": { "why": "Subject omitted; のです continues Ayumu's account of herself, not Dee.", "was": "\"Dee-san was trying to skip the whole-school morning assembly, so I suggested that if she wanted some new stimulation, she should go watch the transfer student. She was reading this book at the time.\"", "now": "\"Dee-san was trying to skip the whole-school morning assembly, so I suggested that if she wanted some new stimulation, she should go watch the transfer student. I was reading this book at the time.\"" }, "544": { "why": "No possessive in 忠実な腰巾着としては; Serena is Eris's toady, not Reika's.", "was": "\"What will you do? I suppose I could let you off the hook this time. But as your loyal toady, shouldn't I tell the president?\"", "now": "\"What will you do? I suppose I could let you off the hook this time. But as her loyal toady, shouldn’t I tell the president?\"" }, "571": { "why": "相手 is the partner role Reika is being removed from; 'from the Star Hour partner' does not parse. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "But Akatsukinomiya, who wanted to remove Reika from the Star Hour partner -", "now": "But Akatsukinomiya, who wanted to remove Reika as a Star Hour partner -" }, "834": { "why": "Repeated scene: same Japanese line as mgo_01_02[1352], already corrected there.", "was": "\"If I take on the role, what will happen to the Magical Heart I use?\"", "now": "\"If I were to accept. What would be done about the Magical Heart I am to use?\"" }, "131": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機.", "was": "If she could have just lazed around in her room, she might have done so, but the Culture Maid Machine would have fumigated it, so she couldn't go back.", "now": "If she could have just lazed around in her room, she might have done so, but the Cultural Maid Machine would have fumigated it, so she couldn't go back." }, "612": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機.", "was": "\"Of course... The culture maid machine's work is perfect.\"", "now": "\"Of course... The Cultural Maid Machine's work is perfect.\"" }, "269": { "why": "normalize Hasshaa Shiin terminology to Hashshashin", "was": "That was thanks to the ability of Reika's Magical Heart, Lapis Lazuli, called Husher Scene.", "now": "That was thanks to the ability of Reika's Magical Heart, Lapis Lazuli, called Hashshashin." }, "270": { "why": "normalize Hasshaa Shiin terminology to Hashshashin", "was": "Husher Scene was an ability that controlled others by sending minuscule fragments of Lapis Lazuli into them.", "now": "Hashshashin was an ability that controlled others by sending minuscule fragments of Lapis Lazuli into them." } }, "mgo_02_02": { "866": { "why": "First-person interior monologue (あたし); naming her breaks out of her head. はず is 'I was sure I had', not a flat statement.", "was": "Dee had lain down in the corner of the room on the blanket that had been in the bathroom...", "now": "I was sure I had lain down in the corner of the room, on the blanket from the bathroom..." }, "218": { "why": "想定される is passive -- the environment she is presumed to be in, not one she seeks. 様子 is how she was, distinct from 行動パターン later in the line.", "was": "\"We profiled Hoshimori Towa's behavior before her disappearance, as well as the environment she was expected to find after surviving. Then we prepared someone whose behavior patterns Towa would accept.\"", "now": "\"We profiled Hoshimori Towa based on how she was before her disappearance and the environment she would presumably be in after surviving. Then we prepared someone whose behavior patterns Towa would accept.\"" }, "253": { "why": "殺してしまえ is an order to the bioroid on the right, and その身 is its own body, not Towa's.", "was": "\"Kill her in exchange for her own life.\"", "now": "\"In exchange for your own life, kill her.\"" }, "671": { "why": "死体みたいなものがたくさん after an explosion: many things resembling corpse matter, not many whole corpses. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"It just came in. The explosion happened in Classroom 33 of Building D. There were lots of things that looked like corpses.\"", "now": "\"It just came in. The explosion happened in Classroom 33 of Building D. There was a lot of what looked like human body parts.\"" }, "785": { "why": "禊ヶ原――いや、星杜 is Reika correcting which name to use, not a fact-clause; and 星杜 (Hoshimori, the clan) was read as 星徒 (Star Disciple).", "was": "But just when they were almost there, Hoshimori Towa - no, the fact that she was Star Disciple Towa - had barged in. That had been completely outside her calculations.", "now": "But just when they were almost there, Misogigahara - no, Hoshimori Towa - had barged in. That had been completely outside her calculations." }, "828": { "why": "マジカルハート here is the class, not a named jewel; the definite article points it at one object.", "was": "She knew the Magical Heart possessed tremendous power. But she had not known it could do anything like this.", "now": "She knew Magical Hearts possessed tremendous power. But she had not known one could do anything like this." }, "993": { "why": "星杜から: the Hoshimori are the victims, not the thieves. まさか...のか is an incredulous question. Plural per the story.", "was": "\"Why are you surprised? Surely you didn't know that the Tsukikage family helped Hoshimori steal the Magical Heart?\"", "now": "\"Why are you surprised? Surely you knew that the Tsukikage family lent a hand in stealing the Magical Hearts from the Hoshimori?\"" }, "1041": { "why": "The one who agreed is この方 (Reika), not Towa.", "was": "\"Even though you agreed to our joint front, this person tried to take Rubellite from me, so that makes this self-defense, as they say. Just as I expected, though.\"", "now": "\"Even though she agreed to our joint front, this person tried to take Rubellite from me, so that makes this self-defense, as they say. Just as I expected, though.\"" }, "1051": { "why": "Yuda is male; line 1052 in the same passage already says him.", "was": "She drank her tea with elegant gestures, as though she were spending time in her own parlor.", "now": "He drank his tea with elegant gestures, as though he were spending time in his own parlor." }, "1055": { "why": "Yuda is male; line 1052 in the same passage already says him.", "was": "The motion was just like stroking the fur of a pet cat sleeping on her lap.", "now": "The motion was just like stroking the fur of a pet cat sleeping on his lap." }, "1216": { "why": "Yuda is male; line 1052 in the same passage already says him.", "was": "Yuda found herself rising to her feet without thinking.", "now": "Yuda found himself rising to his feet without thinking." }, "1277": { "why": "Yuda is male; line 1052 in the same passage already says him.", "was": "Yuda murmured happily as she caressed the hair of the sleeping Eris.", "now": "Yuda murmured happily as he caressed the hair of the sleeping Eris." }, "1297": { "why": "Yuda is male; line 1052 in the same passage already says him.", "was": "Yuda had leapt to her feet before she knew it.", "now": "Yuda had leapt to his feet before he knew it." }, "1302": { "why": "Yuda is male; line 1052 in the same passage already says him.", "was": "Yuda clapped her hands.", "now": "Yuda clapped his hands." }, "1058": { "why": "『セレンディバイト』の『王冠』 is the ability that jewel has; 'a Crown from Serendibite' makes it sound issuable.", "was": "\"A Crown from Serendibite would be one thing, but using Rubellite to control another Magical Heart takes time. Targeting that opening is standard practice.\"", "now": "\"Serendibite’s Crown would be another matter, but using Rubellite to control another Magical Heart takes time. Targeting that opening is standard practice.\"" }, "1088": { "why": "Yuda speaks casually (キミ, plain だ); the formal subject pronoun reads stilted. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"It looks like you and she will be the ones fighting at the end after all... Hmm?\"", "now": "\"It looks like you and her will be the ones fighting at the end after all... Hmm?\"" }, "1190": { "why": "こちら is the speaker's own side -- Towa wins, Towa gets both. The English reversed the argument.", "was": "\"You approached me with this offer because you judged that you would be overwhelmed if we continued, did you not? If you win, you will get both of them anyway.\"", "now": "\"You approached me with this offer because you judged that you would be overwhelmed if we continued, did you not? If I win, I get both of them anyway.\"" }, "1206": { "why": "Serena's first-person monologue; she is the one blocking. No subject in the Japanese.", "was": "Here it comes! Here it comes! Another nasty trajectory she can't fully block!", "now": "Here it comes! Here it comes! Another nasty trajectory I can't fully block!" }, "1264": { "why": "ええっっっ is a startled exclamation, not a negation. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"So I have to win...? Nooooo!\"", "now": "\"It seems like winning is my only choice... Ehhhh?\"" }, "1280": { "why": "どうするかな has no subject; Yuda is spectating, not deciding. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"So, what should I do?\"", "now": "\"So, what will you do?\"" }, "1225": { "why": "バートリー is Bathory; the script produced three spellings.", "was": "Bartory fired at Galahad's defense, only to be deflected.", "now": "Bathory fired at Galahad's defense, only to be deflected." }, "1256": { "why": "バートリー is Bathory; the script produced three spellings.", "was": "With her defenses locked down tight and the sound of Bartory pummeling Galahad ringing in her ears, Serena turned the possibilities over in her mind.", "now": "With her defenses locked down tight and the sound of Bathory pummeling Galahad ringing in her ears, Serena turned the possibilities over in her mind." }, "1278": { "why": "バートリー is Bathory; the script produced three spellings.", "was": "\"It looks like perfect defense, but the farther she expands its range, the thinner and weaker it becomes. Eventually, Bartory will break through it.\"", "now": "\"It looks like perfect defense, but the farther she expands its range, the thinner and weaker it becomes. Eventually, Bathory will break through it.\"" }, "1281": { "why": "バートリー is Bathory; the script produced three spellings.", "was": "Searching for an opening, Galahad extended upward, downward, left, and right in response to the Bartory striking in from all directions.", "now": "Searching for an opening, Galahad extended upward, downward, left, and right in response to the Bathory striking in from all directions." }, "1071": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "Light bullets, like machine-gun fire, were launched from the tip of the whip. Citrine's Senju Ranbu had activated.", "now": "Light bullets, like machine-gun fire, were launched from the tip of the whip. Citrine's Thousand-Hand Dance had activated." }, "1078": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "When Bathory and Senju Ranbu are combined, the whip's length effectively doubles, while the increase in the number of attacks is equivalent to squaring it.", "now": "When Bathory and Thousand-Hand Dance are combined, the whip's length effectively doubles, while the increase in the number of attacks is equivalent to squaring it." }, "1287": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Seitai Taiho!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "1311": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Towa, covered by the thin red, semitransparent dome, fired Seitai Taiho. The dome rippled, and the point of impact bulged outward with a wobble.", "now": "Towa, covered by the thin red, semitransparent dome, fired Conquering Heaven Cannon. The dome rippled, and the point of impact bulged outward with a wobble." }, "1315": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Serena gradually reduced the dome covering Towa. Towa still fired Seitai Taiho about three times, but the defense grew thicker as the dome shrank.", "now": "Serena gradually reduced the dome covering Towa. Towa still fired Conquering Heaven Cannon about three times, but the defense grew thicker as the dome shrank." }, "1317": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Towa stopped firing Seitai Taiho and began saying something inside the sealed space.", "now": "Towa stopped firing Conquering Heaven Cannon and began saying something inside the sealed space." }, "1074": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 and 征天大砲 to their canonical English.", "was": "\"Choosing Senju Ranbu instead of Seitedaiho also makes perfect sense. Seitedaiho can't create a barrage of fire.\"", "now": "\"Choosing Thousand-Hand Dance instead of Conquering Heaven Cannon also makes perfect sense. Conquering Heaven Cannon can't create a barrage of fire.\"" }, "1286": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 and 征天大砲 to their canonical English.", "was": "As a shield, it left her back exposed. If the tip of a whip slipped in there, Senju Ranbu or Seitai Taiho would finish the job.", "now": "As a shield, it left her back exposed. If the tip of a whip slipped in there, Thousand-Hand Dance or Conquering Heaven Cannon would finish the job." } }, "mgo_02_03": { "13": { "why": "彼女 kept as a pronoun; 予告されていた is foretold, not warned.", "was": "She had been warned. That Towa would disappear.", "now": "It had been foretold. That she would disappear." }, "64": { "why": "Ruby: 文化女中機 is READ as ロベルタさん. Established rendering is 'the Cultural Maid Machine, Roberta-san' (mgo_01_01[1164], mgo_01_03[12]); 'from the' invents an origin.", "was": "\"... Roberta-san from the Cultural Maid Machine used to do everything for me, didn't she?\"", "now": "\"... The Cultural Maid Machine, Roberta-san, used to do everything for me, didn’t she?\"" }, "65": { "why": "Subject omitted in the Japanese; the referent is already named in the previous line.", "was": "Every morning, Roberta-san would show up uninvited and do everything, from cleaning and laundry to preparing Dee's clothes. Dee had found it bothersome, but she had been a dependable presence.", "now": "Every morning it would show up uninvited and do everything, from cleaning and laundry to preparing Dee's clothes. Dee had found it bothersome, but it had been a dependable presence." }, "99": { "why": "教えて貰っていれば is passive with no agent -- if I had been told, not if she had told me.", "was": "\"If she had told me a little sooner, I might have been able to ask Yuzuki-senpai about the Akatsukinomiya family's circumstances...\"", "now": "\"If I had been told a little sooner, I might have been able to ask Yuzuki-senpai about the Akatsukinomiya family’s circumstances...\"" }, "129": { "why": "No agent in the Japanese; the line is passive throughout.", "was": "She had been touched, licked, and kissed, and each time, Towa-senpai had poured plenty of that sparkling substance into her.", "now": "She had been touched, licked, and kissed, and each time, plenty of that sparkling substance had been poured into her." }, "39": { "why": "Spoken by Yuda with the subject omitted -- he is describing what Eris will do, as line 41 confirms.", "was": "\"And then I will kill Yuda.\"", "now": "\"And then you will kill Yuda.\"" }, "40": { "why": "その口ぶり is the tone of the previous speaker, Yuda.", "was": "She even sounded as though she were enjoying herself.", "now": "He even sounded as though he were enjoying himself." }, "79": { "why": "テロリスト is singular; it refers to Towa.", "was": "She had stopped going to school, and even though she could have escaped from the terrorists (maybe?), she had not. She had not resisted the terrorists (I guess they are?), either, and had surrendered herself to them.", "now": "She had stopped going to school, and even though she could have escaped from the terrorist (maybe?), she had not. She had not resisted the terrorist (I guess they are?), either, and had surrendered herself to them." }, "116": { "why": "『星の時間』の相手 is the role itself, not someone else's partner; and the Japanese names nobody.", "was": "It was just like when Towa had been hesitating over whether to take on the role of her partner for the Star Hour.", "now": "It was just like when she had been hesitating over whether to take on the role of Star Hour partner." }, "136": { "why": "Both halves address Towa; the English switched person mid-thought. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "Don't make a face like that. Even though she might be a terrorist.", "now": "Don’t make a face like that... After all, you are a terrorist." }, "138": { "why": "いいか is self-directed acceptance, not a question; ...なら trails as a fragment.", "was": "But... does it matter, as long as I'm with Towa-senpai?", "now": "But... it’s fine. As long as I’m with Towa-senpai." }, "338": { "why": "バートリー is Bathory; the script produced three spellings.", "was": "\"Fortunately, she has no leeway to control anything besides Serendibite, and the power of the three Magical Hearts is being used for support. That is precisely why she can keep Batry going for so long and produce so many of them, though...\"", "now": "\"Fortunately, she has no leeway to control anything besides Serendibite, and the power of the three Magical Hearts is being used for support. That is precisely why she can keep Bathory going for so long and produce so many of them, though...\"" }, "379": { "why": "バートリー is Bathory; the script produced three spellings.", "was": "Even though she was avoiding direct hits, the blows from Keranous that grazed her could not compare to the blows from Batry.", "now": "Even though she was avoiding direct hits, the blows from Keranous that grazed her could not compare to the blows from Bathory." }, "354": { "why": "Dee is shouting encouragement at Towa; いける has no subject and is not about herself. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"Senpai! It hit again! I can still... I can still do it!\"", "now": "\"Senpai! It hit again! You can do it!\"" }, "370": { "why": "Two display lines in the source; the break is what separates the narration from Eris's own voice.", "was": "Eris was aware of it. I am beginning to lose my composure.", "now": "Eris was aware of it.\r\nI am beginning to lose my composure." }, "745": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "Yuda appeared before her. She floated there before Eris, her white cloak fluttering.", "now": "Yuda appeared before her. He floated there before Eris, his white cloak fluttering." }, "1023": { "why": "Yuda is male; the laugh is his, between his own two lines.", "was": "Then she gave a little laugh.", "now": "Then he gave a little laugh." }, "1022": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 is the work title; deliberately ambiguous between the maiden who massacres and the maidens massacred. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "\"It seems the scenario Yuda created, 'Maiden of Massacre,' just won't end. It only sends us back to the start screen again.\"", "now": "\"It seems the scenario Yuda created, 'Maiden's Massacre,' just won't end. It only sends us back to the start screen again.\"" }, "569": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "\"Senju Ranbu!\"", "now": "\"Thousand-Hand Dance!\"" }, "670": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Heaven-Conquering Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "673": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Eris rose as she fired the 'Heaven-Conquering Cannon.'", "now": "Eris rose as she fired the 'Conquering Heaven Cannon.'" }, "359": { "why": "normalize Hasshaa Shiin terminology to Hashshashin (was 'Hachashine')", "was": "\"Lapis Lazuli's Hachashine!? Can you see it!?\"", "now": "\"Lapis Lazuli's Hashshashin!? Can you see it!?\"" } }, "mgo_03_01": { "192": { "why": "Non-ASCII e-acute; the font hook reads Shift-JIS only and would render it as garbage.", "was": "All the underwear given to Star Disciples is risqué and provocative. If everyone dressed that way, one would expect their embarrassment to fade or disappear, but for some reason they are all ashamed of being seen.", "now": "All the underwear given to Star Disciples is risque and provocative. If everyone dressed that way, one would expect their embarrassment to fade or disappear, but for some reason they are all ashamed of being seen." }, "23": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "I hear her voice through the sensors.", "now": "I hear his voice through the sensors." }, "19": { "why": "Yuda is male; same error four lines earlier.", "was": "First, she seems to be checking the main culture tank where Towa, Eris, Serena, Reika, and Izuna are being cultured.", "now": "First, he seems to be checking the main culture tank where Towa, Eris, Serena, Reika, and Izuna are being cultured." }, "34": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "She looks as though she is thinking for a moment.", "now": "He looks as though he is thinking for a moment." }, "36": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "After saying that, she gives me a sidelong glance.", "now": "After saying that, he gives me a sidelong glance." }, "44": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "After saying that, she leaves the culture room.", "now": "After saying that, he leaves the culture room." }, "234": { "why": "Subject omitted; Ayumu is the narrator of this section, so it is her own aside.", "was": "She can say that with such confidence because Serena has never failed at this event.", "now": "I can say that with such confidence because Serena has never failed at this event." }, "265": { "why": "禊ヶ原先輩は is the topic of ほうがいい -- Towa is the one who should make the friends. The trailing って is Dee's own thought, not a report of Towa speaking.", "was": "\"Huh? Oh, um... I mean, Misogigahara-senpai said that you should make friends with people in your own year...\"", "now": "\"Huh? Oh, um... It’s just, I thought Misogigahara-senpai should make friends with people in her own year...\"" }, "27": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 is the work title; deliberately ambiguous between the maiden who massacres and the maidens massacred. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "Five ordinary Star Disciples are in here, including Dee and me - extras in Slaughter Maiden, in other words.", "now": "Five ordinary Star Disciples are in here, including Dee and me - extras in Maiden's Massacre, in other words." }, "121": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 is the work title; deliberately ambiguous between the maiden who massacres and the maidens massacred. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "Even without the gimmick called Dee, the scenario of \"Maiden of Massacre\" would eventually reach the goal Yuda set for it.", "now": "Even without the gimmick called Dee, the scenario of \"Maiden's Massacre\" would eventually reach the goal Yuda set for it." }, "289": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 is the work title; deliberately ambiguous between the maiden who massacres and the maidens massacred. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "Soon after I became a character in Maiden of Massacre, the four of us went on a picnic together.", "now": "Soon after I became a character in Maiden's Massacre, the four of us went on a picnic together." }, "341": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 is the work title; deliberately ambiguous between the maiden who massacres and the maidens massacred. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "When I became a character in The Maidens of Massacre, there was already only the third term, in March. And the Star Disciples were all female.", "now": "When I became a character in Maiden's Massacre, there was already only the third term, in March. And the Star Disciples were all female." }, "356": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 is the work title; deliberately ambiguous between the maiden who massacres and the maidens massacred. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "I would become a character in The Maidens of Massacre.", "now": "I would become a character in Maiden's Massacre." }, "358": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 is the work title; deliberately ambiguous between the maiden who massacres and the maidens massacred. Rendering chosen by the user.", "was": "Every one of the girls I speak with is nothing more than a character in the story called The Maidens of Massacre.", "now": "Every one of the girls I speak with is nothing more than a character in the story called Maiden's Massacre." }, "336": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "Maybe she simply reuses the questions made back when this was still a research city.", "now": "Maybe he simply reuses the questions made back when this was still a research city." }, "344": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "That must have been when Yuda realized that no matter how much she tampered with their memories and created a setting, unexpected relationships would develop if she left an entire year.", "now": "That must have been when Yuda realized that no matter how much he tampered with their memories and created a setting, unexpected relationships would develop if he left an entire year." }, "350": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "She deleted various elements and characters from the academy, but kept one element intact.", "now": "He deleted various elements and characters from the academy, but kept one element intact." }, "78": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機 to the established Cultural Maid Machine.", "was": "There were far more Star Disciples than there are now. More cultural maid machines and Guardians were active too.", "now": "There were far more Star Disciples than there are now. More Cultural Maid Machines and Guardians were active too." }, "65": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "I snipe Izuna from behind as she tries to fire the lethal Heaven-Conquering Cannon at point-blank range from Towa.", "now": "I snipe Izuna from behind as she tries to fire the lethal Conquering Heaven Cannon at point-blank range from Towa." } }, "mgo_03_02": { "244": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "And as long as the developments don't reduce the number of battles between Magical Heart holders, she should tolerate it.", "now": "And as long as the developments don't reduce the number of battles between Magical Heart holders, he should tolerate it." }, "245": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "She probably thinks my actions as a nameless extra are helping with that, and nothing more.", "now": "He probably thinks my actions as a nameless extra are helping with that, and nothing more." }, "285": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "After declaring that in a bright, cheerful voice, she raised her right arm high.", "now": "After declaring that in a bright, cheerful voice, he raised his right arm high." }, "291": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "The Celestial who had supposedly been named Izanagi, but called herself Yuda, defeated Ganesha.", "now": "The Celestial who had supposedly been named Izanagi, but called himself Yuda, defeated Ganesha." }, "292": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "She split into copies without warning and collected every Magical Heart from the corpses of my friends.", "now": "He split into copies without warning and collected every Magical Heart from the corpses of my friends." }, "293": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "With an attack of incredible density, she overwhelmed the probability manipulation and settled the battle in one blow.", "now": "With an attack of incredible density, he overwhelmed the probability manipulation and settled the battle in one blow." }, "329": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "She defeated Huitzilopochtli and gave chase.", "now": "He defeated Huitzilopochtli and gave chase." }, "591": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "But Yuda definitely knows everything about this, doesn't she...?", "now": "But Yuda definitely knows everything about this, doesn't he...?" }, "297": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "Her tone remained cheerful to the very end.", "now": "His tone remained cheerful to the very end." }, "302": { "why": "難民達 is a crowd; singular her does not agree.", "was": "Refugees... no, a mob of starving wretches staggering along. Every one of them had lost the light in her eyes, dragging along scraps of what had once been clothing.", "now": "Refugees... no, a mob of starving wretches staggering along. Every one of them had lost the light in their eyes, dragging along scraps of what had once been clothing." }, "580": { "why": "The Guardian is a machine; the glossary lists it as it.", "was": "\"My nighttime walks are a secret. If Guardian-san found out, just imagining what she would do to me is terrifying...\"", "now": "\"My nighttime walks are a secret. If Guardian-san found out, just imagining what it would do to me is terrifying...\"" }, "748": { "why": "Serena is addressing Ayumu; 引き渡して貰える is her side receiving it, so the handing over is the listener's.", "was": "\"Hmm. I'm not doubting Club President's word, but we have no guarantee that she'll really hand it over, so I don't think that will work.\"", "now": "\"Hmm. I'm not doubting Club President's word, but we have no guarantee that you'll really hand it over, so I don't think that will work.\"" }, "789": { "why": "文化女中機 rendered as cultural maidens, dropping the machine; normalising to the established term.", "was": "My days of being pursued by the automated machines began, including the Guardians patrolling the academy and the cultural maidens used for maintenance and inspections.", "now": "My days of being pursued by the automated machines began, including the Guardians patrolling the academy and the Cultural Maid Machines used for maintenance and inspections." }, "780": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機.", "was": "I found this horrifying place when I had returned here, was being called a ghost, and was being driven into a corner by the Guardians and cultural maidens...", "now": "I found this horrifying place when I had returned here, was being called a ghost, and was being driven into a corner by the Guardians and Cultural Maid Machines..." }, "800": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機.", "was": "From that day onward, the Guardians patrolling the academy and the Cultural Maidens' patrols became more frequent, and I began to feel that the day when my existence would be exposed was drawing near.", "now": "From that day onward, the Guardians patrolling the academy and the Cultural Maid Machines' patrols became more frequent, and I began to feel that the day when my existence would be exposed was drawing near." } }, "mgo_03_03": { "9": { "why": "時河部長 is Club President Tokigawa; bucho left untranslated.", "was": "\"...That is not it. It is a fact that I cannot explain Tokigawa-bucho's Magical Heart.\"", "now": "\"...That is not it. It is a fact that I cannot explain Club President Tokigawa's Magical Heart.\"" }, "162": { "why": "Yuda is male; 192 and 193 describe his actions, not the listener's.", "was": "The glass ceiling has been left open for the Star Hour. She's floating near its highest point.", "now": "The glass ceiling has been left open for the Star Hour. He's floating near its highest point." }, "164": { "why": "Yuda is male; 192 and 193 describe his actions, not the listener's.", "was": "She smiles happily.", "now": "He smiles happily." }, "192": { "why": "Yuda is male; 192 and 193 describe his actions, not the listener's.", "was": "\"Seeing that there wasn't enough time to use her 'Clone,' it seems you retrieved the smaller type.\"", "now": "\"Seeing that there wasn't enough time to use his 'Clone,' it seems he retrieved the smaller type.\"" }, "193": { "why": "Yuda is male; 192 and 193 describe his actions, not the listener's.", "was": "\"Thanks to your convincing performance, it seems you were able to draw her out sooner.\"", "now": "\"Thanks to your convincing performance, it seems you were able to draw him out sooner.\"" }, "47": { "why": "Fragment with no verb of speaking; it leads into her line at 48 rather than closing off Yuda's question.", "was": "Ayumu said without even looking to the side.", "now": "Without even looking to the side, Ayumu said," }, "331": { "why": "Ganesha is male.", "was": "Before Ganesha, the Celestial who manipulated probability and had once annihilated a research city, could activate her ability...", "now": "Before Ganesha, the Celestial who manipulated probability and had once annihilated a research city, could activate his ability..." }, "531": { "why": "No の between ガネーシャ and 能力: Ganesha is being addressed, not possessing the ability.", "was": "\"But as a game, it ends here. Now, activate Ganesha's ability.\"", "now": "\"But as a game, it ends here. Now, Ganesha, activate your ability.\"" }, "600": { "why": "Here 鏖殺ノ乙女 names a person, not the scenario, so the title rendering does not fit. Wording supplied by the user.", "was": "\"I am Maiden's Massacre.\"", "now": "\"I am the Maiden of Massacre.\"" }, "184": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Heaven-Conquering Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "188": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Heaven-Conquering Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "344": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Akatsukinomiya-san! With my Conquer Heaven Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Akatsukinomiya-san! With my Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "346": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Towa, too, was fully occupied dealing with the rampaging Ilya Muromets. She had no opportunity to attack Yuda and the Celestials with the Conquer Heaven Cannon.", "now": "Towa, too, was fully occupied dealing with the rampaging Ilya Muromets. She had no opportunity to attack Yuda and the Celestials with the Conquering Heaven Cannon." } }, "mgo_04_01": { "106": { "why": "Japanese name order: surname first.", "was": "That traitor, Kaoru Akatsukinomiya, took everything from Mother. She claimed it all as her own achievement.", "now": "That traitor, Akatsukinomiya Kaoru, took everything from Mother. She claimed it all as her own achievement." }, "750": { "why": "Japanese name order: surname first.", "was": "\"I am merely Towa Hoshimori. I am not noble at all. I want to hear your story. Is it not good enough that you are speaking with me, who was not born noble?\"", "now": "\"I am merely Hoshimori Towa. I am not noble at all. I want to hear your story. Is it not good enough that you are speaking with me, who was not born noble?\"" }, "18": { "why": "ユダの人類 is Yuda speaking of himself in the third person, and キミ is the listener; the English inverted both.", "was": "\"Your humanity was going to destroy you eventually anyway, Yuda. This only makes it happen a little sooner.\"", "now": "\"Yuda’s humanity was going to destroy you eventually anyway. This only makes it happen a little sooner.\"" }, "307": { "why": "The taunt is addressed to Yuda (お前ぇの敗因); 出そうにも has no stated subject and the English made it first person.", "was": "\"I can't call out the Celestials under my command when Solomon's busy with that Huehue bastard! Your mistake was underestimating me!\"", "now": "\"You can't call out the Celestials under my command when Solomon's busy with that Huehue bastard! Your mistake was underestimating me!\"" }, "379": { "why": "あのバカ is Dee, not Yuda (whom she just complained about letting escape in 378).", "was": "\"At this rate, my pets are gonna get wiped out too! That idiot probably won't make it either. I was looking forward to observing him!\"", "now": "\"At this rate, my pets are gonna get wiped out too! That idiot probably won't make it either. I was looking forward to observing her!\"" }, "454": { "why": "Izuna is addressing Reika; レイカだって追い詰められない is Reika failing to corner Akatsukinomiya, not Reika being cornered.", "was": "\"We can drop the act now. You knew Reika couldn't be cornered, so you pretended to let me drag you out by force, right?\"", "now": "\"Enough with the act, Reika. You knew you couldn't corner her, so you pretended I dragged you out by force, right?\"" }, "481": { "why": "Reika is defending her own interrogation technique against Izuna calling her a perv in 480; her invents a third party.", "was": "\"Don't call it pervy! It's just that her technique is incredible!\"", "now": "\"Don't call it pervy! It's just that my technique is incredible!\"" }, "527": { "why": "そんな結末は望まない makes the whole sentence a hypothetical outcome; 手にはいれたが is concessive, not a completed fact. She has not obtained the Cores yet (528-531).", "was": "She had obtained the Energy Cores, but she did not want the academy city to fall and all of humanity except Towa to be wiped out.", "now": "Obtaining the Energy Cores only for the academy city to fall and all of humanity except Towa to be wiped out was not an ending she wanted." }, "350": { "why": "殺し合う is reciprocal and できない has no subject; not a statement about her own capability. 581 is a verbatim recall of 350 and must match.", "was": "\"Th-they're human?! They're human! We can't fight to the death against humans! This is wrong!\"", "now": "\"Th-they're human?! They're human! Humans shouldn't be killing each other! This is wrong!\"" }, "581": { "why": "殺し合う is reciprocal and できない has no subject; not a statement about her own capability. 581 is a verbatim recall of 350 and must match.", "was": "\"Th-they're human?! They're human! I can't fight to the death against humans! This is wrong!\"", "now": "\"Th-they're human?! They're human! Humans shouldn't be killing each other! This is wrong!\"" }, "732": { "why": "She objects to the -様 in 貴方様, not to 貴方 itself, which Towa uses in the next breath; rendering both as you makes her contradict herself.", "was": "\"Please don't call me 'you.' You are the one who saved my life, after all. Towa is fine.\"", "now": "\"Please don't call me ma'am. You are the one who saved my life, after all. Towa is fine.\"" }, "731": { "why": "The 貴方様 Towa objects to in 732 has to be audible here, or her reply refuses a word that was never said.", "was": "\"...S-sorry for making this all about me... What about you--\"", "now": "\"...S-sorry for making this all about me... What about you, ma'am--\"" }, "799": { "why": "とりまきふたりと marks accompaniment for Reika, the sentence subject; the followers are with her, not the summoned classmates.", "was": "In order to search for the Lost Heart, Reika had summoned the classmates who ruled as the class bosses and begun a physical 'examination' with their two followers.", "now": "In order to search for the Lost Heart, Reika had summoned the classmates who ruled as the class bosses and begun a physical 'examination' with her two followers." }, "807": { "why": "ミルカ is Milka, as 808 renders it; Milly is an invented diminutive.", "was": "\"I was surprised too when Milly turned out to be a doll~ But once you've seen five of them, you get used to it~\"", "now": "\"I was surprised too when Milka turned out to be a doll~ But once you've seen five of them, you get used to it~\"" }, "821": { "why": "ロストハート stands for its holder; and それ以外の全員がコレはない denies that ALL the rest are dolls, not that any single one is.", "was": "\"...At least the Lost Heart should be human. But even so, there can't be a single one of the others that's one of these things! There just can't!\"", "now": "\"...At least the one holding the Lost Heart should be human. But even so, all the rest of them being these things? That cannot be! I refuse to believe it!\"" }, "882": { "why": "The trailing からって marks the whole explanation as what Dee was told; the beasts were the recruiters lie, as 883 shows.", "was": "\"They decided to send an expedition to this island to gather resources. But there are all kinds of vicious beasts around here, so the advance team had to clean them out...\"", "now": "\"They were sending an expedition to this island to gather resources, but they said there were all kinds of vicious beasts around here, so the advance team had to clean them out...\"" }, "372": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "Izuna fired off Senju Ranbu in a wild barrage. The poorly defended Specters exploded one after another.", "now": "Izuna fired off Thousand-Hand Dance in a wild barrage. The poorly defended Specters exploded one after another." }, "205": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "\"Thousand-Hand Barrage! Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat!\"", "now": "\"Thousand-Hand Dance! Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat!\"" }, "202": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Normally I could just go bang-bang-bang and clean this up! Celestial Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Normally I could just go bang-bang-bang and clean this up! Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "210": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Celestial Cannon! Celestial Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon! Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "228": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"There are way too many of them, and they're tough! But thanks! Celestial Cannon!\"", "now": "\"There are way too many of them, and they're tough! But thanks! Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "230": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "The Celestial Cannon belched fire and flew into the gap in the defensive field that Reika had carved open, mowing down several small Specters and making them explode in a chain reaction.", "now": "The Conquering Heaven Cannon belched fire and flew into the gap in the defensive field that Reika had carved open, mowing down several small Specters and making them explode in a chain reaction." }, "244": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Okay. Celestial Cannon! Celestial Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Okay. Conquering Heaven Cannon! Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "246": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Then Izuna's Celestial Cannon exploded into the fray, throwing their formation into disarray.", "now": "Then Izuna's Conquering Heaven Cannon exploded into the fray, throwing their formation into disarray." } }, "mgo_04_02": { "748": { "why": "No name in the Japanese.", "was": "But whenever she remembered Towa-san's divine figure fighting that monster...", "now": "But whenever she remembered that divine figure fighting that monster..." }, "1281": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "Tears overflow from Efu's eyes, leaving her bewildered.", "now": "Tears overflow from F's eyes, leaving her bewildered." }, "1286": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "Towa-san never did anything that Efu disliked or that caused her pain.", "now": "Towa-san never did anything that F disliked or that caused her pain." }, "1291": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "Efu squeezed her eyes shut.", "now": "F squeezed her eyes shut." }, "18": { "why": "二人のほか is Eris and Serena and precedes the predicate; moved to the end it reads as Reikas two followers.", "was": "As of yesterday, the only ones still attending dutifully were Tsukikage Reika and her two followers, besides those two.", "now": "As of yesterday, apart from the two of them, the only ones still attending dutifully were Tsukikage Reika and her two followers." }, "101": { "why": "一緒に暮らす is Towa and Dee living together; with them invents a third party at the hideout.", "was": "Ever since Dee had begun living with them at the hideout, Towa had asked her from time to time about the town where she had lived.", "now": "Ever since the two of them had begun living together at the hideout, Towa had asked her from time to time about the town where she had lived." }, "123": { "why": "Model hallucination: the output sentence has no relation to the Japanese, which is Dee apologising after licking Towa's finger.", "was": "All three were hidden beneath bothersome coverings, but it was easy to imagine the bodies beneath them.", "now": "\"Ah. I-I'm sorry. That must have grossed you out...\"" }, "247": { "why": "トワさんに is the target, not the agent: Dee did to Towa the act she was forced to perform for others (246). Towa is not coercing her.", "was": "The same thing Towa-san always makes me do...", "now": "I did to Towa-san the very thing that I was always forced to do..." }, "384": { "why": "撃ってきた is directed at the subject, so the shooters are the people they went to meet, not Dee; the shooting is the evidence that Dee was mistreated.", "was": "Some of the wounds on her body were very recent, and considering how she had fired at them without the slightest hesitation, it was obvious that Dee had been treated brutally here as well.", "now": "Some of the wounds on her body were very recent, and considering that they had fired at her without the slightest hesitation, it was obvious that Dee had been treated brutally here as well." }, "702": { "why": "Definite reference to the Lost Heart; the English dropped the article.", "was": "\"We'll use it to search for Lost Heart.\"", "now": "\"We'll use it to search for the Lost Heart.\"" }, "709": { "why": "Definite reference to the Lost Heart; the English dropped the article.", "was": "If anyone could have done it, it would have been Serena, Reika, or Izuna... Otherwise, it had to be Lost Heart.", "now": "If anyone could have done it, it would have been Serena, Reika, or Izuna... Otherwise, it had to be the Lost Heart." }, "710": { "why": "Definite reference to the Lost Heart; the English dropped the article.", "was": "The lightning wrapped around the pillar of light had been unlike that of anyone belonging to the Star Disciple Council. If so, it had to be Lost Heart.", "now": "The lightning wrapped around the pillar of light had been unlike that of anyone belonging to the Star Disciple Council. If so, it had to be the Lost Heart." }, "732": { "why": "Definite reference to the Lost Heart; the English dropped the article.", "was": "On top of that, I cannot imagine Lost Heart, who was hiding her identity, launching an attack of her own accord. She probably fought back.", "now": "On top of that, I cannot imagine the Lost Heart, who was hiding her identity, launching an attack of her own accord. She probably fought back." }, "1127": { "why": "Close third-person from Towa POV with subjects dropped in the Japanese; supplying the name mid-sentence splits one person into two.", "was": "She should have told Dee that Towa had known, but had found even that pathetic earnestness endearing. She should have asked Dee to tell her what she wanted Towa to do.", "now": "She should have told Dee that she had known, and that she had found even that pathetic earnestness endearing. She should have asked Dee to say what she wanted of her." }, "1128": { "why": "Close third-person from Towa POV with subjects dropped in the Japanese; supplying the name mid-sentence splits one person into two.", "was": "She should have confided Towa's own secret in her, too.", "now": "She should have confided her own secret in her, too." }, "1131": { "why": "Close third-person from Towa POV with subjects dropped in the Japanese; supplying the name mid-sentence splits one person into two.", "was": "That Towa possessed the power of Magical Heart, and without it, she was nothing more than an ordinary human just like Dee.", "now": "That she had the power of a Magical Heart, and that without it she was nothing more than an ordinary human just like Dee." }, "1166": { "why": "ユダに連絡を is Eris fumbling for her own next action - 1167 has her reaching for her own terminal - not an order to Serena.", "was": "Huh? Ah, um, contact Yuda...", "now": "\"Huh? Ah, um, I-I need to contact Yuda...\"" }, "1165": { "why": "Give me your orders! is not in this line; ご指示を belongs to 1168 and was copied forward.", "was": "My lady! You are the Star Disciple Council President of this academy! You must deal with this situation! Give me your orders!", "now": "\"My lady! You are the Star Disciple Council President of this academy! You must deal with this situation!\"" }, "1526": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "Eph has been thrown facedown onto the ground.", "now": "F has been thrown facedown onto the ground." }, "1535": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "They were the women who had watched Eph with disgust or ridicule while the men used her.", "now": "They were the women who had watched F with disgust or ridicule while the men used her." }, "1539": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "Eph survived because being abused on a daily basis had made her a little accustomed to it. And because she knew how to make men climax quickly.", "now": "F survived because being abused on a daily basis had made her a little accustomed to it. And because she knew how to make men climax quickly." }, "1547": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "With cruel strength, she twists Eph's nipple upward.", "now": "With cruel strength, she twists F's nipple upward." }, "1556": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "Three of them are the ones that were tormenting Eph until just a moment ago.", "now": "Three of them are the ones that were tormenting F until just a moment ago." }, "1575": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "Eph vaguely listens to the two women talking.", "now": "F vaguely listens to the two women talking." }, "1532": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "Still lying facedown, she turns her gaze to the side. Two girls are stuffing the remaining intruders scattered around them into pods of the same type as the one Eph had been riding.", "now": "Still lying facedown, she turns her gaze to the side. Two girls are stuffing the remaining intruders scattered around them into pods of the same type as the one F had been riding." }, "26": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機 to the established Cultural Maid Machine.", "was": "A cultural maid machine proceeded down the dormitory corridor where the first-years lived, scattering noise everywhere.", "now": "A Cultural Maid Machine proceeded down the dormitory corridor where the first-years lived, scattering noise everywhere." }, "30": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機 to the established Cultural Maid Machine.", "was": "The cultural maid machine had finished cleaning the first and second rooms and was trying to open the door to the third.", "now": "The Cultural Maid Machine had finished cleaning the first and second rooms and was trying to open the door to the third." }, "33": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機 to the established Cultural Maid Machine.", "was": "The cultural maid machine rattled noisily as it opened the room's door.", "now": "The Cultural Maid Machine rattled noisily as it opened the room's door." }, "36": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機 to the established Cultural Maid Machine.", "was": "Ignoring the cultural maid machine closing in behind her, Izuna threw off the blanket in one swift motion.", "now": "Ignoring the Cultural Maid Machine closing in behind her, Izuna threw off the blanket in one swift motion." }, "43": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機 to the established Cultural Maid Machine.", "was": "Izuna grabbed the doll by the ankles, while Eri held it under the arms, and they slipped outside past the cultural maid machine that had entered the room.", "now": "Izuna grabbed the doll by the ankles, while Eri held it under the arms, and they slipped outside past the Cultural Maid Machine that had entered the room." }, "560": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "\"Senju Ranbu!\"", "now": "\"Thousand-Hand Dance!\"" }, "569": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "Izuna's \"Senju Ranbu\" gouged into the creature's hide and sent blood spraying, but its soft skin seemed to diminish the attack's force, so it still could not stop the creature's movements.", "now": "Izuna's \"Thousand-Hand Dance\" gouged into the creature's hide and sent blood spraying, but its soft skin seemed to diminish the attack's force, so it still could not stop the creature's movements." }, "570": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Why wasn't she using \"Seitai Taiho\" -", "now": "Why wasn't she using \"Conquering Heaven Cannon\" -" }, "573": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "The powerful but imprecise \"Seitai Taiho\" might hit Reika as well.", "now": "The powerful but imprecise \"Conquering Heaven Cannon\" might hit Reika as well." }, "582": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Izuna's \"Seitai Taiho\" should have been capable of dealing them a fatal blow.", "now": "Izuna's \"Conquering Heaven Cannon\" should have been capable of dealing them a fatal blow." }, "584": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "The \"Seitai Taiho\" thundered.", "now": "The \"Conquering Heaven Cannon\" thundered." }, "663": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Seiten Cannon! Go, go, gooooo!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon! Go, go, gooooo!\"" }, "671": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Seiten Cannon! We're just getting started!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon! We're just getting started!\"" }, "667": { "why": "normalize Hasshaa Shiin terminology to Hashshashin", "was": "Magical Heart \"Lapis Lazuli\". Its second ability, \"Husher Scene.\" It was the power to implant fragments of a gemstone into an opponent and control them.", "now": "Magical Heart \"Lapis Lazuli\". Its second ability, \"Hashshashin.\" It was the power to implant fragments of a gemstone into an opponent and control them." } }, "mgo_04_03": { "506": { "why": "貴方 carries no name.", "was": "\"I have never looked down on you, Dee-san. But I was always so arrogant, looking down from above and thinking I had to save you. And yet... I showed you such an undignified side of myself...\"", "now": "\"I have never looked down on you. But I was always so arrogant, looking down from above and thinking I had to save you. And yet... I showed you such an undignified side of myself...\"" }, "320": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "\"Heh heh heh. Efu. Your former mistress who abandoned you looks pathetic, doesn't she? She lost to me. Kuhahahahaha!\"", "now": "\"Heh heh heh. F. Your former mistress who abandoned you looks pathetic, doesn't she? She lost to me. Kuhahahahaha!\"" }, "381": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "I'm not Efu. Well, maybe I am a lowly Efu, but in front of Towa-san, I want to be Dee!", "now": "I'm not F. Well, maybe I am a lowly F, but in front of Towa-san, I want to be Dee!" }, "1258": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "The multiple sets of Efu's clothes found at the camp might have been an indication of that intention.", "now": "The multiple sets of F's clothes found at the camp might have been an indication of that intention." }, "1262": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "She would never return to Efu. She had made up her mind to stay by Towa's side for as long as she lived.", "now": "She would never return to F. She had made up her mind to stay by Towa's side for as long as she lived." }, "101": { "why": "宝石姫 is Jewel Princess everywhere else in the game (103 lines); Gem Princess is drift.", "was": "The 'Rubellite' mark on her left breast was glowing, but the 'Gem Princess' vestments had manifested only faintly, visible only if one looked closely.", "now": "The 'Rubellite' mark on her left breast was glowing, but the 'Jewel Princess' vestments had manifested only faintly, visible only if one looked closely." }, "106": { "why": "宝石姫 is Jewel Princess everywhere else in the game (103 lines); Gem Princess is drift.", "was": "She was already at her limit. She no longer even had the strength to manifest the 'Gem Princess' vestments.", "now": "She was already at her limit. She no longer even had the strength to manifest the 'Jewel Princess' vestments." }, "139": { "why": "宝石姫 is Jewel Princess everywhere else in the game (103 lines); Gem Princess is drift.", "was": "She was enveloped in white light. That light transformed into the 'Gem Princess' vestments.", "now": "She was enveloped in white light. That light transformed into the 'Jewel Princess' vestments." }, "178": { "why": "再会できた is potential-form first person in Towa interior voice; と云うんですの is a rhetorical cry, not a reply to anyone.", "was": "They were reunited, and yet you are saying I was too late?!", "now": "We were finally reunited, and yet I was too late?!" }, "271": { "why": "User's wording; 脚の付け根 is literally the groin but inner thighs reads better here.", "was": "Hot, hot, hot. Her breasts and the roots of her thighs were burning hot.", "now": "Hot, hot, hot. Her breasts and her inner thighs were burning hot." }, "408": { "why": "あのひと is Dee's standing reference to the Witch, rendered 'that person' in 11 lines of mgo_04_02; 'that woman' here clashes with 'that cold woman' for Reika in 409.", "was": "I activated the vermin-repellent system. (That woman told me it was actually a weapons control system.) A targeting reticle settled over the scene before me.", "now": "I activated the vermin-repellent system. (That person told me it was actually a weapons control system.) A targeting reticle settled over the scene before me." }, "443": { "why": "わたくしまた…… is a broken-off self-referring fragment; Not again drops the I and completes the sentence.", "was": "\"Not again...\"", "now": "\"I... again...\"" }, "582": { "why": "Pochi is a monster; the Japanese has no pronoun and the English supplied she.", "was": "She was probably trying to protect Reika and the others.", "now": "It was probably trying to protect Reika and the others." }, "590": { "why": "それ refers to Pochi, a monster; the Japanese has no gendered pronoun.", "was": "A flash of light blasted her away without a trace.", "now": "A flash of light blasted it away without a trace." }, "592": { "why": "その手前 has no pronoun; the referent is the seraph.", "was": "They did not even come close to the seraph high above. The blasts lost their momentum before reaching her.", "now": "They did not even come close to the seraph high above. The blasts lost their momentum before reaching it." }, "834": { "why": "あんなの is a contemptuous reference to a person, not a thing.", "was": "\"So... Citrine belongs to me. And yet, why was it taken by something like that?\"", "now": "\"So... Citrine belongs to me. And yet, why was it taken by someone like that?\"" }, "836": { "why": "あれくらいはあるだろう is the idiom 'there is at least that much [of it]', conceding the insult in 835; ある was read as existence of a thing.", "was": "\"That's right... I suppose there would be one like that.\"", "now": "\"That's right... I am at least that much of an idiot.\"" }, "851": { "why": "『宝石姫』でない貴方 is a plain relative clause, not concessive; これで and the musing かしら were dropped.", "was": "\"What do you think would happen if I shot you, even though you are not a Jewel Princess?\"", "now": "\"I wonder what would happen if I shot you with this, while you're not a Jewel Princess?\"" }, "939": { "why": "エフじゃなかった is Izuna correcting herself mid-word from F to Dee-chan, not a relative clause; Eri's was invented.", "was": "\"Amazing! Dee-chan's awful injuries, the ones that weren't Eri's, are completely gone! They have vanished without a trace!\"", "now": "\"Amazing! F-- I mean, Dee-chan's awful injuries are completely gone! Not a trace left!\"" }, "873": { "why": "No subject stated; Izuna is working out her own situation, not narrating a third party.", "was": "\"I get it! Since she keeps losing to Misogigahara-san, she can't cooperate with Reika-chan!\"", "now": "\"I get it! It's because I've lost to Misogigahara-san that I can't work with Reika-chan!\"" }, "1052": { "why": "No adversative in the Japanese; But fights the そして―― that leads into it.", "was": "But when she finally reached the Star Disciple Council room, Serena's young mistress was nowhere to be found.", "now": "When she finally reached the Star Disciple Council room, Serena's young mistress was nowhere to be found." }, "1174": { "why": "手前ェら (crude) -> おほん (throat-clear) -> 人民諸君 (formal) is a register slip; the English had an extra you that muddled which term was the slip.", "was": "\"Can you, uh, you people, I mean, my people, allow them to rule this planet again?! Can you allow it?!\"", "now": "\"Will you lot-- ahem, my people, allow them to rule this planet again?! Will you allow it?!\"" }, "1211": { "why": "学園 is their own academy (1212 confirms); 文化女中機 is Cultural Maid Machine in 26 other lines.", "was": "\"Cultural maid robots and transport vehicles were going in and out. They seemed to be headed for an academy.\"", "now": "\"Cultural Maid Machines and transport vehicles were going in and out. They seemed to be headed for the academy.\"" }, "376": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機.", "was": "The pod charged toward the wall at the edge of the world, firing as it went and scattering the Culture Maid Machines that fled from its bombardment.", "now": "The pod charged toward the wall at the edge of the world, firing as it went and scattering the Cultural Maid Machines that fled from its bombardment." }, "1440": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機; the model took the ruby reading instead of the written term.", "was": "\"The production plants were set to be handed over to you, too. Of course, that includes Roberta-san and all the various facilities.\" \"So all your worries were completely unfounded.\"", "now": "\"The production plants were set to be handed over to you, too. Of course, that includes Cultural Maid Machines and all the various facilities.\" \"So all your worries were completely unfounded.\"" }, "1232": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "The white cloak. The being who called herself Yuda and was called Yuda.", "now": "The white cloak. The being who called himself Yuda and was called Yuda." }, "1248": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "Yuda's power surpassed even that of Akatsukinomiya Eris, the strongest 'Jewel Princess' in existence, all by herself.", "now": "Yuda's power surpassed even that of Akatsukinomiya Eris, the strongest 'Jewel Princess' in existence, all by himself." }, "1249": { "why": "Yuda is male; subject carried over from 1248.", "was": "On top of that, if she still controlled the sealed-off academy, then she now had two people under her control, including the strongest 'Jewel Princess.'", "now": "On top of that, if he still controlled the sealed-off academy, then he now had two people under his control, including the strongest 'Jewel Princess.'" }, "1237": { "why": "Yuda is male; and 勝ち残った『宝石姫』を打ち破ったエリス means Eris beat the surviving Jewel Princesses, not herself.", "was": "Yuda was a being of overwhelming power. She was so powerful that she defeated even Eris, who had beaten Akatsukinomiya Eris, the strongest 'Jewel Princess' in existence. There could be no such being other than a Celestial.", "now": "Yuda was a being of overwhelming power. He was strong enough to defeat even Eris, who had beaten the surviving 'Jewel Princesses.' Only a Celestial could manage that." }, "368": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞 to Thousand-Hand Dance.", "was": "\"Senju Ranbu--\"", "now": "\"Thousand-Hand Dance--\"" }, "1297": { "why": "撃たれる is an agentless passive and 意思 has no possessor; the English supplied she/her, inventing a third party who is not in the scene.", "was": "\"Sometimes she shoots me in the back, too. I can really feel her determination to make sure Towa-chan wins!\"", "now": "\"Sometimes I even get shot in the back. You can really feel the intent behind it -- that Towa-chan absolutely has to win!\"" }, "1365": { "why": "Yuda is male; he is the one falling.", "was": "As she fell, Yuda asked,", "now": "As he fell, Yuda asked," }, "1370": { "why": "鏖殺ノ乙女 used as a self-styled title, not a description of events.", "was": "\"Did you want to become the Messiah? No, that isn't it. You called yourself 'Maiden's Massacre' of your own accord.\"", "now": "\"Did you want to become the Messiah? No, that isn't it. You called yourself 'Maiden of Massacre' of your own accord.\"" }, "1553": { "why": "そういう顔をする is to make that expression, not to look at someone; the English reversed who does what.", "was": "My lady... Please look at me like that. It's all an illusion, you know.", "now": "My lady... Save that expression for me. All of that is an illusion, you know." }, "1624": { "why": "安心できる is reassuring/peace of mind, not safer; the English contradicted 1621 where the danger is the whole complaint.", "was": "\"? Why are you angry? It was safer to investigate it that thoroughly, wasn't it?\"", "now": "\"? Why are you angry? Isn't it more reassuring that they've investigated so thoroughly?\"" }, "1623": { "why": "なるほど is 'I see', not an explanation; the menace is in her delivery and should not be spelled out.", "was": "\"I see... Well, that explains it.\"", "now": "\"Is that so... I see.\"" }, "1664": { "why": "パンチとか乱暴 is a bare noun phrase with no verb or past tense; やっぱり points back to Dee's own remark at 1661. Nobody punched anyone.", "was": "\"Then... what is it...? Is it because I punched them or got rough...?\"", "now": "\"What do you mean...? You mean the whole punching and violence thing...?\"" }, "1754": { "why": "この人 is Towa in Dee's interior voice; both speakers and both referents are female.", "was": "She truly accepts me, in the depths of her heart. He accepts all of me.", "now": "She truly accepts me, in the depths of her heart. She accepts all of me." }, "1804": { "why": "Model left kiss/slurp sound-effect kana transliterated as romaji instead of translating to English onomatopoeia.", "was": "\"Nn, mmchu, jujut, jupicha, jurururu...\"", "now": "\"Nn, mmch, schlp, schlick, slurrrp...\"" }, "1805": { "why": "しゅごい (amazing) was left as untranslated romaji Shugoi alongside slurp sound effects; translating the word and the sounds.", "was": "\"Shugoi juju, juchuru, rejuru, juju, fuaah...\"", "now": "\"It's amazing, schlp, schlurp, mmph, schlp, haah...\"" } }, "mgo_04_04": { "812": { "why": "マジカルハート dropped from the line entirely.", "was": "\"So the data was lost before it could be sent into the past...?\"", "now": "\"So the data on the Magical Heart was lost before it could be sent into the past...?\"" }, "107": { "why": "投げ飛ばされた奴 is the same assailant established male in 83; the existing correction fixed the passive voice but left her face, which should be his face.", "was": "The one Towa had thrown seemed to come to her senses and charged toward them, her face flushed with humiliation and rage.", "now": "The one who had been thrown seemed to come to his senses and charged toward them, his face flushed with humiliation and rage." }, "93": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "Their intentions were written all over their faces: they wanted to torment an unresisting Ef a little before deployment.", "now": "Their intentions were written all over their faces: they wanted to torment an unresisting F a little before deployment." }, "94": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry; the narration drifted to Eph.", "was": "But Towa was not an Ef.", "now": "But Towa was not an F." }, "96": { "why": "エフ is F in the name registry (drift fix); assailant established male in 83 (his face, not her).", "was": "Her face, transformed by shock at being resisted by an Ef, went flying through the air.", "now": "His face, transformed by shock at being resisted by an F, went flying through the air." }, "1114": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "Tch, what, it's Efu? So you were wagging your ass at the enemy, huh? Did you come here to laugh at me? Or kick me in the ass? Maybe piss on me, like people used to do to you?", "now": "Tch, what, it's F? So you were wagging your ass at the enemy, huh? Did you come here to laugh at me? Or kick me in the ass? Maybe piss on me, like people used to do to you?" }, "1115": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "Dee isn't Efu anymore. She has a name, and it's Dee.", "now": "Dee isn't F anymore. She has a name, and it's Dee." }, "1121": { "why": "エフ is the katakana letter F, used as a school rank; 51 lines already render it F.", "was": "Ha! You're more arrogant than the Empire State Building, ya know. That's why you'll always be a filthy Efu drenched in goop! Go jerk off and go to sleep!", "now": "Ha! You're more arrogant than the Empire State Building, ya know. That's why you'll always be a filthy F drenched in goop! Go jerk off and go to sleep!" }, "358": { "why": "Normalising 文化女中機.", "was": "Fortunately, they encountered neither the Guardian, the maid machines, nor any Star Disciples.", "now": "Fortunately, they encountered neither the Guardian, the Cultural Maid Machines, nor any Star Disciples." }, "487": { "why": "Yuda is male.", "was": "Yuda could now run the scenario as much as she pleased.", "now": "Yuda could now run the scenario as much as he pleased." }, "50": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "The plan was for Izuna, hiding elsewhere, to fire the \"Conquer the Heavens Cannon\" into the garrison and draw their attention.", "now": "The plan was for Izuna, hiding elsewhere, to fire the \"Conquering Heaven Cannon\" into the garrison and draw their attention." }, "210": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Celestial-Slaying Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "220": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "\"Celestial-Slaying Cannon!\"", "now": "\"Conquering Heaven Cannon!\"" }, "532": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "The Conqueror's Cannon could reach them. But she did not think sporadic attacks could affect the course of the battle.", "now": "The Conquering Heaven Cannon could reach them. But she did not think sporadic attacks could affect the course of the battle." }, "1071": { "why": "Normalising 征天大砲 to Conquering Heaven Cannon.", "was": "Heaven-Smiting Cannon!", "now": "Conquering Heaven Cannon!" }, "7": { "why": "Yuda is male; subject carried from 6.", "was": "She compared it down to the finest detail with the familiar auditorium.", "now": "He compared it down to the finest detail with the familiar auditorium." }, "53": { "why": "ミリさん marks the addressee (Towa is speaking to Miri, present in 54); 伝えてください asks her to relay the message that follows to Eri. Please tell Miri-san made Miri the target instead of the messenger.", "was": "\"Please tell Miri-san. The Celestial Witch has appeared. The operation has changed. Tell them to observe the situation for a while.\"", "now": "\"Miri-san, please pass this along. The Celestial Witch has appeared. The operation has changed. Tell them to observe the situation for a while.\"" }, "81": { "why": "エフ is a class label used generically in Japanese; F, matching how it's used elsewhere as a category (like human), not a countable noun.", "was": "One was the look of contempt they directed at Efs, beings they considered beneath humans.", "now": "One was the look of contempt they directed at F, beings they considered beneath humans." }, "84": { "why": "エフ is a class label; Towa and Dee (two people) can't both be a singular an F, and the class isn't countable the way Efs implied.", "was": "To them, Towa and Dee were nothing more than Efs they could do anything they wanted with.", "now": "To them, Towa and Dee were nothing more than F they could do anything they wanted with." }, "95": { "why": "The assailants are established as male in 83 (オスとしてメスを屈服させて - a male seeking to subjugate a female); the English used she/her throughout.", "was": "She grabbed the collar of the one charging at her and hurled her away.", "now": "She grabbed the collar of the one charging at her and hurled him away." }, "99": { "why": "The assailants are established as male in 83 (オスとしてメスを屈服させて - a male seeking to subjugate a female); the English used she/her throughout.", "was": "\"Punch her!\"", "now": "\"Punch him!\"" }, "103": { "why": "The punch lands on the assailant, established male in 83; JP has no possessor here but the recipient is him, not her.", "was": "The punch struck between her nose and upper lip. By sheer coincidence, it hit one of the weak points of the human body: the philtrum.", "now": "The punch struck between his nose and upper lip. By sheer coincidence, it hit one of the weak points of the human body: the philtrum." }, "105": { "why": "転げまわる相手 refers to Dee's opponent, established male in 83; no possessor in JP.", "was": "Dee watched her rolling around for just a moment, then lowered her head slightly and ran toward the mech.", "now": "Dee watched him rolling around for just a moment, then lowered her head slightly and ran toward the mech." }, "172": { "why": "Robin Hood is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied She.", "was": "Robin Hood vanished just as easily. She had been slaughtered by human artillery.", "now": "Robin Hood vanished just as easily. He had been slaughtered by human artillery." }, "173": { "why": "Robin Hood is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied She.", "was": "She had become the first Celestial ever defeated by a human attack other than the Jewel Princesses'.", "now": "He had become the first Celestial ever defeated by a human attack other than the Jewel Princesses'." }, "207": { "why": "Ilya Muromets is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "Even so, she halted her steady advance toward victory and tried to turn toward the new enemy.", "now": "Even so, he halted his steady advance toward victory and tried to turn toward the new enemy." }, "211": { "why": "Ilya Muromets is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "A flash of light struck the side of Ilya Muromets' face as she tried to turn! Her massive body staggered, and her balance was broken before she realized it.", "now": "A flash of light struck the side of Ilya Muromets' face as he tried to turn! His massive body staggered, and his balance was broken before he realized it." }, "223": { "why": "Ilya Muromets is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "Ilya Muromets retreated just before collapsing and tried to regain her footing, but that brought her right toward where Reika was retreating.", "now": "Ilya Muromets retreated just before collapsing and tried to regain his footing, but that brought him right toward where Reika was retreating." }, "225": { "why": "Ilya Muromets is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "The glowing blue saber sliced her diagonally from behind, and at last the Celestial Ilya Muromets collapsed.", "now": "The glowing blue saber sliced him diagonally from behind, and at last the Celestial Ilya Muromets collapsed." }, "229": { "why": "Ganesha is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "Her greatest and strongest ability was Probability Manipulation. She could manipulate the enemy's attacks, not only making every one of them miss, but sending every one straight back at them.", "now": "His greatest and strongest ability was Probability Manipulation. He could manipulate the enemy's attacks, not only making every one of them miss, but sending every one straight back at them." }, "230": { "why": "Ganesha is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "Then, while the enemy was left helpless by the damage from her own attacks, Ganesha would trample them beneath her massive body for a guaranteed victory.", "now": "Then, while the enemy was left helpless by the damage from his own attacks, Ganesha would trample them beneath his massive body for a guaranteed victory." }, "236": { "why": "Ganesha is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "Ganesha no longer had any way to respond. Her entire body was engulfed in crimson flames, and she collapsed as a torch as tall as a skyscraper.", "now": "Ganesha no longer had any way to respond. His entire body was engulfed in crimson flames, and he collapsed as a torch as tall as a skyscraper." }, "218": { "why": "Ilya Muromets is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "Her entire right side turned bright red, as if bleeding, beneath the flashes of the shots that struck home.", "now": "His entire right side turned bright red, as if bleeding, beneath the flashes of the shots that struck home." }, "221": { "why": "Ilya Muromets is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "The second shot of Citrine's ability struck home. Her defenses were completely shattered, and her steel body cracked in a very literal sense.", "now": "The second shot of Citrine's ability struck home. His defenses were completely shattered, and his steel body cracked in a very literal sense." }, "222": { "why": "Ilya Muromets is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her.", "was": "The artillery fire concentrated on her. Ganesha could not protect the staggering giant, and she began to collapse at an accelerating rate.", "now": "The artillery fire concentrated on him. Ganesha could not protect the staggering giant, and he began to collapse at an accelerating rate." }, "232": { "why": "Ganesha is male; JP has no gendered pronoun and the English supplied she/her. Missed in the earlier batch despite being the same passage.", "was": "Because she was a wielder of an extraordinary ability, both the defenses of her massive body and the offensive means it possessed were feeble compared to Ilya Muromets and the others.", "now": "Because he was a wielder of an extraordinary ability, both the defenses of his massive body and the offensive means it possessed were feeble compared to Ilya Muromets and the others." }, "209": { "why": "相手 has no possessor; subject is Ilya Muromets, continuing from 206-208.", "was": "- If her opponent had been only one Jewel Princess -", "now": "- If his opponent had been only one Jewel Princess -" }, "233": { "why": "Ganesha is male; continuing the same paragraph as 232.", "was": "In no time, her thin defenses were torn apart, and her huge body was reduced to nothing more than a punching bag under the barrage.", "now": "In no time, his thin defenses were torn apart, and his huge body was reduced to nothing more than a punching bag under the barrage." }, "311": { "why": "『セレンディバイト』の黒い紋様 names a specific gem's marking, matching the definite-article pattern used for Citrine/Rubellite/Lapis Lazuli three lines later at 314.", "was": "A black Serendibite pattern appeared in the spotless white valley between her breasts.", "now": "The black Serendibite pattern appeared in the spotless white valley between her breasts." }, "426": { "why": "会長もメイドも、ガーディアンに弄ばれている is a hypothesis Towa raises and rejects via にしては (but if so...), not a stated fact; the flat declarative reads as established, contradicting the surrounding they have no idea passage.", "was": "The President and her maid were being toyed with by the Guardians... And yet, the academy was quiet, with no sign of destruction.", "now": "Perhaps the President and her maid were being toyed with by the Guardians... But if so, the academy should not be this quiet, with no sign of destruction." }, "477": { "why": "double-negative phrasing was confusing; JP says all it had was raw power, nothing else", "was": "Demiurge beta was even more powerful than alpha, but compared to the real Magical Heart, all it possessed besides overwhelming attack power was nothing.", "now": "Demiurge beta was even more powerful than alpha, but compared to the real Magical Heart, all it possessed was overwhelming attack power, and nothing more." }, "481": { "why": "Yuda is male (confirmed this session)", "was": "\"Yuda is only borrowing power from her collaborators.\"", "now": "\"Yuda is only borrowing power from his collaborators.\"" }, "483": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "That night, she had been gravely wounded by the Witch's attack and had no choice but to entrust herself to the treatment device while unconscious.", "now": "That night, he had been gravely wounded by the Witch's attack and had no choice but to entrust himself to the treatment device while unconscious." }, "484": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "By the time she finally awoke, the Guardians had gone berserk, all the Jewel Princesses had been violated, and the scenario was in a state of total collapse.", "now": "By the time he finally awoke, the Guardians had gone berserk, all the Jewel Princesses had been violated, and the scenario was in a state of total collapse." }, "546": { "why": "'Red' isn't a name; it's a color reference back to the Witch's crimson cape (established at line 471), not a title", "was": "Red tried to remain in the sky for a few brief moments, shaking her head in refusal.", "now": "The red one tried to remain in the sky for a few brief moments, shaking her head in refusal." }, "566": { "why": "this is Eris's internal narration, not dialogue to a listener; JP has no 'you'", "was": "To keep hurting you any further would be cruel to Misogigahara - no, to Hoshimori-san.", "now": "To keep hurting her any further would be cruel to Misogigahara - no, to Hoshimori-san." }, "687": { "why": "Izuna is answering the Witch directly (responding to 686's 'you know something, don't you'), not describing her in third person", "was": "\"Um... She can fly and shoot flames, and she's the boss of the people who went inside. That's about it.\"", "now": "\"Um... You can fly and shoot flames, and you're the boss of the people who went inside. That's about it.\"" }, "701": { "why": "JP is Towa describing herself as Dee's special Jewel Princess (\\u8ca7\\u65b9\\u306e\\u7279\\u5225\\u306f\\u300e\\u5b9d\\u77f3\\u59eb\\u300f), not describing Dee's power", "was": "\"Your special power is that of a Jewel Princess!\"", "now": "\"I'm your own special Jewel Princess, don't you know!\"" }, "724": { "why": "naraku is translated 'the abyss' everywhere else in the game (12 other occurrences); 'orchestra pit' was the sole outlier and breaks the hell-pun into the next line", "was": "\"Beneath the stage of the grand auditorium. The orchestra pit!\"", "now": "\"Beneath the stage of the grand auditorium. The abyss!\"" }, "882": { "why": "Ayumu is addressing both Towa and Dee (\\u8ca7\\u65b9\\u65b9 elsewhere in this speech); each has her own Magical Heart, so plural", "was": "\"But Magical Heart will remain. It must not be destroyed if it is to record everything.\"", "now": "\"But your Magical Hearts will remain. They must not be destroyed if they are to record everything.\"" }, "925": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "\"I have known Yuda for a long time, so I understand her well.\"", "now": "\"I have known Yuda for a long time, so I understand him well.\"" }, "960": { "why": "Izuna is watching Yuda, who is male", "was": "\"Huh? But she's just staring down at the ground. I don't think she's noticed us!\"", "now": "\"Huh? But he's just staring down at the ground. I don't think he's noticed us!\"" }, "964": { "why": "user requested 'That' instead of 'The' to match the demonstrative tone of the preceding line", "was": "The 'Magical Heart' had not reacted to Yuda at all, nor did it have a compatible user.", "now": "That 'Magical Heart' had not reacted to Yuda at all, nor did it have a compatible user." }, "1012": { "why": "subject is Reika, not Yuda -- confirmed by mgo_04_04[1019] 'Reika fell like a stone'", "was": "He fell straight down like a stone. Hitting him now would be easy.", "now": "She fell straight down like a stone. Hitting her now would be easy." }, "1016": { "why": "normalize Hasshaa Shiin terminology to Hashshashin (was 'Hassha Scene')", "was": "\"Is this 'Lapis Lazuli's' 'Hassha Scene'!? But unless an enormous amount was injected, there is no way it could restrain a Celestial like Yuda, even for a brief moment...\"", "now": "\"Is this 'Lapis Lazuli's' 'Hashshashin'!? But unless an enormous amount was injected, there is no way it could restrain a Celestial like Yuda, even for a brief moment...\"" }, "1060": { "why": "normalize Hasshaa Shiin terminology to Hashshashin (was 'Hassersheen')", "was": "If he killed Reika while she was activating 'Hassersheen,' Yuda could use his own ability, 'Doppelganger,' as well as Eris's ability, 'Keranous.'", "now": "If he killed Reika while she was activating 'Hashshashin,' Yuda could use his own ability, 'Doppelganger,' as well as Eris's ability, 'Keranous.'" }, "1362": { "why": "spelling: Hashshashin not Hasshashin; and 'a Jewel Princess' not 'the'", "was": "If Reika hadn't steeled herself and fired Hasshashin into Yuda. If the Witch hadn't helped us. If Ayumu hadn't turned Dee into the Jewel Princess.", "now": "If Reika hadn't steeled herself and fired Hashshashin into Yuda. If the Witch hadn't helped us. If Ayumu hadn't turned Dee into a Jewel Princess." }, "1085": { "why": "Serena's internal monologue is about betraying Yuda, who controls her, not the allies she just apologized to", "was": "I'm sorry, everyone. I really want to betray you, but I only get one chance to betray you.", "now": "I'm sorry, everyone. I really want to betray him, but I only get one chance to betray him." }, "1086": { "why": "refers to Yuda (singular), not the allies", "was": "If she betrayed them even once, the needle whose tip was wedged into the maiden's slit would probably impale Serena's body.", "now": "If she betrayed him even once, the needle whose tip was wedged into the maiden's slit would probably impale Serena's body." }, "1107": { "why": "missing definite article; Witch is used as a common noun/epithet throughout, not a proper name", "was": "Though Witch had said that to Reika and the others, Witch herself and Demiurgos Beta seemed to be at their limit.", "now": "Though the Witch had said that to Reika and the others, the Witch herself and Demiurgos Beta seemed to be at their limit." }, "1103": { "why": "missing definite article", "was": "After that, if he erased Witch's so-called town from the face of the earth, Yuda's utopia would arrive.", "now": "After that, if he erased the Witch's so-called town from the face of the earth, Yuda's utopia would arrive." }, "1110": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Yuda was gloating in triumph. It pissed Witch off.", "now": "Yuda was gloating in triumph. It pissed the Witch off." }, "1113": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Witch raised her head.", "now": "The Witch raised her head." }, "1116": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Witch turned toward Dee with a lewd grin.", "now": "The Witch turned toward Dee with a lewd grin." }, "1126": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Witch looked at Towa.", "now": "The Witch looked at Towa." }, "1129": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Ignoring Witch's clicking tongue,", "now": "Ignoring the Witch's clicking tongue," }, "1137": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Dee held her finger over Witch's wounds.", "now": "Dee held her finger over the Witch's wounds." }, "1139": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "A green light appeared at her fingertip. It grew larger and larger, healing Witch's wounds.", "now": "A green light appeared at her fingertip. It grew larger and larger, healing the Witch's wounds." }, "1141": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Witch's hand reached out and closed around Dee's neck.", "now": "The Witch's hand reached out and closed around Dee's neck." }, "1146": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Witch let go and stood up on unsteady legs.", "now": "The Witch let go and stood up on unsteady legs." }, "1161": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Bombs flew one after another from Yuda's hand, exploding around Witch and Demiurge as they blocked the way.", "now": "Bombs flew one after another from Yuda's hand, exploding around the Witch and Demiurge as they blocked the way." }, "1166": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Demiurge, already half-destroyed, scattered fragments with every explosion. Witch was taking damage as well.", "now": "Demiurge, already half-destroyed, scattered fragments with every explosion. The Witch was taking damage as well." }, "1167": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "But they did not fall. Wrapped in black smoke and flashes, Witch and the strange machine steadily closed the distance.", "now": "But they did not fall. Wrapped in black smoke and flashes, the Witch and the strange machine steadily closed the distance." }, "1170": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Witch and Demiurge vanished beneath the black smoke, explosions, and flashes.", "now": "The Witch and Demiurge vanished beneath the black smoke, explosions, and flashes." }, "1173": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "Green light poured down from behind Witch and Demiurge, regenerating their damage, though not completely.", "now": "Green light poured down from behind the Witch and Demiurge, regenerating their damage, though not completely." }, "1179": { "why": "missing definite article; also Yuda is male (viewpoint subject)", "was": "She saw crimson flames ignite around Witch's fist as it drew near her face.", "now": "He saw crimson flames ignite around the Witch's fist as it drew near his face." }, "1182": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "But by then, Witch had already wrapped her arms around Yuda.", "now": "But by then, the Witch had already wrapped her arms around Yuda." }, "1184": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "A massive flame engulfed Yuda and Witch.", "now": "A massive flame engulfed Yuda and the Witch." }, "1194": { "why": "missing definite article: 'Witch' used as a bare proper name instead of the epithet 'the Witch'", "was": "The heat radiating from Witch burned away Yuda's body.", "now": "The heat radiating from the Witch burned away Yuda's body." }, "1155": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "But there was no denying that having them block her path was an annoyance.", "now": "But there was no denying that having them block his path was an annoyance." }, "1156": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "Yuda focused every nerve in her body.", "now": "Yuda focused every nerve in his body." }, "1157": { "why": "Yuda is male; also normalize Hasshaa Shiin to Hashshashin (was 'Husher Scene')", "was": "She had no leeway to deploy armaments powerful enough to defeat the Jewel Princesses. Her control had not recovered either, thanks to the interference from Husher Scene.", "now": "He had no leeway to deploy armaments powerful enough to defeat the Jewel Princesses. His control had not recovered either, thanks to the interference from Hashshashin." }, "1176": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "The black and green Jewel Princesses were following behind them. Those were what she should have been targeting.", "now": "The black and green Jewel Princesses were following behind them. Those were what he should have been targeting." }, "1180": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "A flaming fist sank into Yuda's cheek. Half of her beautiful white face exploded apart.", "now": "A flaming fist sank into Yuda's cheek. Half of his beautiful white face exploded apart." }, "1181": { "why": "hallucination: JP is \\u81ea\\u3089\\u3092\\u6708\\u3078\\u56de\\u53ce\\u3057\\u3088\\u3046 -- Yuda tries to recall HIMSELF to the moon; no Tsukikage in the source (model confused \\u6708/tsuki with \\u6708\\u5f71/Tsukikage)", "was": "At this rate...! Yuda tried to have Tsukikage retrieve her -", "now": "At this rate...! Yuda tried to recall himself to the moon -" }, "1185": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "Yuda fell, burning as she went.", "now": "Yuda fell, burning as he went." }, "1188": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "Even as her entire body crumbled away in flames, Yuda looked up through the fire.", "now": "Even as his entire body crumbled away in flames, Yuda looked up through the fire." }, "1193": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "Yuda shouted. But by then, it had no effect beyond taking Serena down with her.", "now": "Yuda shouted. But by then, it had no effect beyond taking Serena down with him." }, "1195": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "The sensations in her body disappeared. Then her thoughts began to crumble as well.", "now": "The sensations in his body disappeared. Then his thoughts began to crumble as well." }, "1196": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "She could not think. She could not think of anything.", "now": "He could not think. He could not think of anything." }, "1197": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "Yuda reached out her hand as if begging for something.", "now": "Yuda reached out his hand as if begging for something." }, "1198": { "why": "Yuda is male", "was": "Her crumbling lips spoke the last fragment of her thoughts.", "now": "His crumbling lips spoke the last fragment of his thoughts." }, "1363": { "why": "JP is \\u300e\\u30de\\u30b8\\u30ab\\u30eb\\u30cf\\u30fc\\u30c8\\u300f\\u306e\\u8a18\\u61b6, a possessive: 'the Magical Heart's memories'", "was": "If we'd had accurate information and known Eris wasn't at the academy. If Dee hadn't been gravely wounded and hadn't seen the memories of Magical Heart. If cooperation between Reika's group and Towa's group hadn't been established...", "now": "If we'd had accurate information and known Eris wasn't at the academy. If Dee hadn't been gravely wounded and hadn't seen the Magical Heart's memories. If cooperation between Reika's group and Towa's group hadn't been established..." }, "1402": { "why": "refers to Yuda, who is male", "was": "\"She burned up and vanished without a trace. Oh, but Tanzanite was left behind.\"", "now": "\"He burned up and vanished without a trace. Oh, but Tanzanite was left behind.\"" }, "1407": { "why": "Dee is addressing the Witch directly (JP \\u3069\\u3046\\u3057\\u3066\\u30c6\\u30f3\\u30c8\\u306b\\u2015\\u2015, and 1408 is the Witch answering)", "was": "\"Why isn't she in the tent...?\"", "now": "\"Why aren't you in the tent...?\"" }, "1411": { "why": "refers to Yuda, who is male", "was": "\"She croaked.\"", "now": "\"He croaked.\"" }, "1412": { "why": "refers to Yuda, who is male", "was": "\"Heh. Is that so... Kukuku, hahahaha! I didn't just smack that smug face of hers flat - I turned her into charcoal!\"", "now": "\"Heh. Is that so... Kukuku, hahahaha! I didn't just smack that smug face of his flat - I turned him into charcoal!\"" }, "1422": { "why": "refers to Yuda, who is male; JP \\u3042\\u306e\\u3059\\u307e\\u3057\\u9854 is ungendered ('that smug face'), so 'bastard' fits better than 'bitch'", "was": "\"Besides, no matter how much meddling you want to do, now that that smug bitch has croaked, it means my divine mission is over, too.\"", "now": "\"Besides, no matter how much meddling you want to do, now that that smug bastard has croaked, it means my divine mission is over, too.\"" } }, "mgo_99_01_sys": { "712": { "why": "Japanese name order: surname first.", "was": "\"Oh, hello... I'm Minori Iizuka. I wonder if you remember me...?\"", "now": "\"Oh, hello... I'm Iizuka Minori. I wonder if you remember me...?\"" }, "667": { "why": "Normalising 千手乱舞.", "was": "\"Well then, goodbye... Thousand-Handed Dance! Ratatatatatatatatatatatat!! Shkshkshkshkshkshkshk!!\"", "now": "\"Well then, goodbye... Thousand-Hand Dance! Ratatatatatatatatatatatat!! Shkshkshkshkshkshkshk!!\"" } }, "mgo_99_02_toku": {}, "mgo_05_01": { "45": { "why": "missing definite article", "was": "Some tried to learn about Magical Heart by any means possible and steal it.", "now": "Some tried to learn about the Magical Heart by any means possible and steal it." }, "48": { "why": "missing definite article", "was": "That said, the people who stole it could not withstand the power of Magical Heart, and ended up being destroyed as a result...", "now": "That said, the people who stole it could not withstand the power of the Magical Heart, and ended up being destroyed as a result..." }, "90": { "why": "possessive: they gave up their own gems", "was": "Eris became pregnant with Serena's child, and gave up the Moonstone and Rubellite so their children would not have to bear the Magical Heart.", "now": "Eris became pregnant with Serena's child, and gave up their Moonstone and Rubellite so their children would not have to bear the Magical Heart." }, "186": { "why": "JP \\u300e\\u30a2\\u30ec\\u30ad\\u30b5\\u30f3\\u30c9\\u30e9\\u30a4\\u30c8\\u300f\\u3092\\u5165\\u308c\\u305f -- the specific gem, not 'an'", "was": "\"I'm... terribly selfish, too. I put an Alexandrite... in that rocket.\"", "now": "\"I'm... terribly selfish, too. I put the Alexandrite... in that rocket.\"" }, "231": { "why": "Towa held the Serendibite, not Dee (see line 168); Towa feared Dee only stayed because Towa had it", "was": "\"That was because Dee was always thinking about other people. I thought you were only staying with me because you had the Serendibite...\"", "now": "\"That was because Dee was always thinking about other people. I thought you were only staying with me because I had the Serendibite...\"" }, "161": { "why": "'my last partner' reads like an ex; JP \\u6700\\u5f8c\\u306e\\u76f8\\u68d2 means the only partner remaining after the others stepped down", "was": "Even me, for stepping down as a god without consulting Dee, my last partner.", "now": "Even me, for stepping down as a god without consulting Dee, the last partner I had left." }, "96": { "why": "possessive: they gave up their own gems", "was": "Reika became pregnant with Izuna's child, and at that point the two of them gave up the Lapis Lazuli and Citrine.", "now": "Reika became pregnant with Izuna's child, and at that point the two of them gave up their Lapis Lazuli and Citrine." }, "167": { "why": "'too' read as 'like Dee did'; drop it -- JP \\u81ea\\u5206\\u306e\\u3082\\u8f09\\u305b\\u305f means she added hers to what was already loaded", "was": "But since Towa decided to stop being a god, she secretly put hers on board too.", "now": "But since Towa decided to stop being a god, she secretly added her own to the load." } } }